Saturday, March 26, 2011

Giant reptilian mutant critter.

"In short, Judge Perkins, the toxic chemical level in Deschutes River from chemical runoff from the Lucky Leprechaun mine is far above acceptable legal standards."

"Yes, yes," the Judge said. "But you haven't presented any evidence of harm..."

Sarah gaped a little, then recovered. "Sir. I didn't think I needed to. These are clearly dangerous levels of toxic...''

"Motion denied."

At that moment, on the muddy banks of Deschutes River, a huge mottled egg began to undulate and stretch. Out popped a giant reptilian head, tongue sniffing the air. It slithered out of the bank and into the river.

"Poor little critter. They'll destroy it within a few hours. Probably use a cruise missile or something...."

"Poor little critter!" Sarah exclaimed. "It's eaten at least ten people!"

"There are lots of people," I answered. "There is only one mutant, giant, reptilian critter."


I woke up with the above story in my head. Probably won't go anywhere, but I'm going to start writing down these little bursts.


Duncan McGeary said...

"It was only as the critter approached Northwest Crossing that the authorities began to react.

A few losses of Eastsiders was an acceptable winnowing down of the riff raff, but once the joggers on the trails below the tony development started getting eaten...."

Duncan McGeary said...

"Harriet Simpson emerged from her house to do some gardening. She'd spent all morning watching Fox News and she was spitting mad at all the unnecessary government regulations.

Thankfully, the nasty government officials couldn't see into her back yard.

Harriet had the most bug free garden in all of Bend, perhaps all of Oregon.

Her secret? She'd found a giant canister of DDT in an old woodshed on her property when she was tearing it down for a pond.

She sprinkled the stuff liberally, and had the most gorgeous blooms and her garden club had begged her for her secret but she was damned if she was going to share any of the precious illegal chemical.

It was proof, she thought, that the enviro-nazi's had their heads up their ass.

Just then, the giant reptilian mutant critter splashed out of the pond, and swallowed Harriet whole -- until her head was entirely up his ass.

Duncan McGeary said...

"Why are you getting involved?" Sarah asked. "I thought you only dealt with supernatural creatures."

"Well -- this is close. Besides, it's only a matter of time before it eats and actual innocent -- a cat or dog or child or something. So I best stop it..."

Anonymous said...

Bring back Buster. Bring back the old Drunken McGeary.

Duncan McGeary said...

Actually, that third entry is a complete story. Exactly 150 words.

H. Bruce Miller said...

If this keeps up, seek help.