The Loft.

I know you're expecting me to pick holes, to ridicule, but no.


It's PURE GENIUS! It's EFFIN' BRILLIANT! If I had that kind of money to invest, I'd be all over it. In fact, I think every big building downtown, Franklin Crossing, the St. Clair building, the Decoy Building on the corner of Bond and Greenwood, every one of them should be taking an upper story and doing the same thing.

They should all have Men's Clubs type names, like Boodles or Blades, maybe secret handshakes. The men can get together and plan 80 Day's Around the World type bets, and stuff. James Bond tuxedos required. Gaming tables, but of course. Baccarat. Very cool. Shakers of brandy, and upper English accents. You know. Shaken but not stirred. Because it's a private club, they can break out the cigars and puff away.

Then, after they've feasted and drank, they can wander over to the D & D and have their retainers get in fights with the red necks. Refreshed, they can scoot over the the motorcycle spa and have their nails done.

Too bad there is no golf course, but maybe if they string all the roofs of the downtown buildings together, they might be able to create a couple of holes. Golf balls raining down on the poor ground level pedestrians, who will stand on the sidewalk to gawk and look up longingly upon the rich.

They could either do it the English Gentlemen's Clubs way and have snooty butlers, or they could do it the America Gentlemen's Clubs way and hire from Stars and dress them in little French Maid outfits. I'd go for the latter.

Wait a minute. I got off track.

No, really, it's very smart. Let's see, a second story space in downtown Bend of 4800 ft. could probably only rent for somewhere between 2.5 to 3.00 a foot. So only 14,400.00 at most. 250 memberships at 200.00 a piece goes for 50K!!!!!! That is a small enough number that they probably won't have much trouble filling it, and a small enough amount, that even lowly Doctors and Lawyers and the occasional Real Estate agent could afford it, and probably write it off as a business expense. If I were them, I'd raise the dues 50.00 every year to weed out the riff raff. They can keep the menu simple, the spirits expensive, and let the dough roll in.

Meanwhile, you notice they allow access to other tenants in the building, and no doubt guests of members, and they plan to use it for "catered business meeting" which pretty much opens it up to more or less everybody, who will feel agog and privileged. The Hoi Poi will be welcomed, at least enough to take their money.

Absolutely a guaranteed money maker.

This is how the rich get richer. If you think about it, it's a bit like a lottery. Nobody has to pay too much, but everyone has access to the richness of it all. (There is a reason lotteries are illegal, because they absolutely work and because they are scams. If I have a 100 comic on lottery for only a 1.00 ticket, and I manage to sell 500 tickets....see what I mean? You can almost always figure out a way to get more entries than the item is actually worth. Too bad it isn't allowed....)

Oh, and I forgot the initiation fees. This really shows how smart these guys are, because they aren't even going to tell us what those are; so they can canvass for members, and if they get 2000 people wanting the spots they can go high, and if they only get 150 they can go low. These fees can be pretty high, can't they? They might have this place paid for before they even open!!!!!


I can't imagine this not working. Really, I'm not kidding.

Quick. Someone help me buy the second floor of the Decoy building. I'll call it "The Duck Blind" or something. I'll take all the blackballed Loft rejects and charge them 150.00 a month and half the initiation fees. Just take your pinkie finger and twirl it three times if you want in.... Does Dan Fouts still live around here? Come on, Dan. Give me a call. The "Duck" Blind, get it? You give me the money, and I'll run the place. You going to let that upstart Bledsoe steal a march on you? Or Chris Miller, come on, it's still the "Duck" Blind.

I wonder if I should volunteer them some comics, or a fill my store with Drew Bledsoe cards....

O.K. I'm mocking them. But I'm also quite serious. They have the celebrity spokesman, Drew Bledsoe. If they get enough of the movers and shakers of Bend, the truly rich and not the wannabe's, they make the place even more attractive. They can charge almost anything they want, because who's going to complain? Very, very smart.

On one hand, I'm offended by the elitist aspects, but on the other I'm impressed by the pure entrepreneurial genius of it. All they have to do is keep the quality high, and with the kind of money they'll be pulling in, that should be easy as pie. Money for nothing....

I truly am in awe.