I've always had people proclaim that they'd love to work in my store. Most of the time I've never seen them before. The chances of getting a job at Pegasus are nearly nil. I used to make the joke, "No, you have to inherit a job here. I have a generational waiting list."

Thing is, I've always had the luxury of hiring from my customer base. I've been able to observe their behavior, and what I learned was that considerate, ethical people show themselves in small ways. Like never pretending they didn't order a product they ordered, never trying to play games with the pricing, not constantly changing their minds, showing that they are open and curious and inquisitive and have a sense of humor, and so on.

And even then, there is rarely a job available. What happens, is I know I have to replace my one part-timer, and I start watching people, listening to what they are saying and doing, trying to scope out their situation. Even then, I ask for a resume, finally, and sort of test them; can they run the register, do they show up on time, are they O.K. with people?

I've found introverted people make much much better employees than extroverted. Especially the charmers. The charmers have always been a disaster.

Anyway, my newest joke whenever anyone asks if I have a job is: "No, you have to eliminate the present employee, Pat. He had to stalk the previous guy for weeks before he nailed him."

The very first guy I used this joke on, according to Pat, has been back a number of times, talking about how much he learned in 'jail.' Going on about a book he read in 'jail.'

I hope the guy knows I was joking.

Watch your back, Pat.