The Bulletin is doing a story, which is supposed to run on Sunday, of the impact of e-books on bookstores.
I was probably surprisingly optimistic. For some reason, e-books don't worry me. I haven't felt their effect, nor do I think they'll affect me over the next couple of years...
But since you never know what a reporter might actually write, I went ahead and recorded the conversation, and I present it to you word for word, so you can compare it to the article....
(For this to work, you might want to read the answers in the blustery/panicked voice of Bill Paxton.)
Reporter: What do you think of e-books?
"I'm ready, man, check it out. I am the ultimate badass! State of the badass art. You do NOT wanna fuck with me. Check it out!
Reporter: Do you know anyone who has an e-book?
"They're coming outta the walls. They're coming out of the goddamn walls Let's book!"
Reporter: Do you think e-books will affect your store?
"Hey, maybe you haven't been keeping up on current events, but we just got our asses kicked, pal!"
Reporter: So are you going to keep your store going?
"Let's just bug out and call it even, OK? What are we talking about this for?"
Reporter: E-book sales increased by thousands of percent, and books have dropped....
"Well, that's just great, that's just fuckin' great, man. Now what the fuck are we supposed to do? We're in some real pretty shit now, man."
Reporter: And the percentage of e-books sales just keeps growing.
"That's it, man, game over, man, game over! What the fuck are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do?"
Reporter: Do you have a strategy for dealing with it?
"We're all gonna die, man."
Reporter: Don't you think you're over reacting?
"Oh dear Lord Jesus, this ain't happening, man. This can't be happening, man! This isn't happening!"
Reporter: Calm down.
"We're all gonna die man!"
Reporter: Get a hold of yourself. Do have any final observations?
"Come on! Come on! Come and get it, baby! Come on! I don't got all day! Come on! Come on you bastard! Come on, you too! Oh, you want some of this? Fuck you!"
Reporter: Hello? Hello? Are you still there?
3 days ago