Wednesday, July 15, 2015

My identity as a "writer."

If doing is being, then I'm a writer.

I've always had a hard time calling myself a writer.  To me, a writer makes his living by writing, and I don't do that.

However, whether I choose 'writer' as my identity or not, there is no denying that I'm mostly writing these days.  That is, when I wake up and decide what I'm going to do, it's always about writing.  When I go to bed at night, I'm thinking about what I'm going to write the next day.

I schedule around my writing, not the other way around.  I make space for writing -- whether I'm writing or not.  And then, of course, I write.

I mean, it's pretty unavoidable.  It does seem to be who I am right now.  Almost everything feels else like a distraction.

I nurture the time, the energy, and most especially the dream space.  That kind of floating feeling I get when I'm trying to be creative, where the present becomes hazy, the future non-existent, and the past is made of dreams and visions.

All other concerns get pushed aside, if possible.

I've settled into this life, and I am surprised by how much I'm doing and how much I like it.

I'm close to finishing Gargoyle Dreams.  It's a good, solid book.

That makes three solid books in a row that I'm very proud of:  The Last Fedora: the Gangster Golem Chronicles; and The Manic Pixie Dream Girl Murders; and now Gargoyle Dreams.

They emerged smoothly.  They kept my interest all the way through.  I think they pay off.  I'm impressed with myself, by god. 

I'm going to just keep writing, as long as possible.  Whether I call myself a writer or not, I'm pretty much a writer in practice.

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