Thursday, November 6, 2014

A little blocked.

At least for the moment, my writing momentum has stalled.

Look, I was astonished by how much creative energy I had for two years.  I was unstoppable.

Now, suddenly, I'm sort of stepping back.

I'm not worried.  I think this sort of thing is cyclical.  I'm just waiting for the creative well to refill. 

At the same time, I feel somewhat as though I'm stepping back from trying to keep up with everything.  (Standard joke at the store.  Customer asks, "How do you keep up?"  Me, firmly, "I don't.")

The store is doing well.  Which kind of amazes me because I'm not laser focused on it like I was for so many years.  I think it's a great thing to have other people doing orders, interacting with the customer.  It's been a good thing.  But I feel like I'm losing touch.

I don't know whether its me or that the world has continued to get more complicated, but I can't keep up with the basic understanding of what's going on.  Not that I ever did have a basic understanding -- that was probably always a delusion.

But in my little business world and in my little writing world, I was trying to keep up.

I don't know if that is even possible anymore.  Comic culture has continued to expand.  Which is cool.  I love seeing it.  But damned if I know what's going on.  It has crossed over into TV, cartoons, movies, video games and other media so much that I'm not sometimes even aware of big licenses until they are already established.  Add in the whole convention and events culture, cosplay, gaming, tech apps...and I'm lost.

And the Internet.  Oh, that sounds like an afterthought.  You know, "and the Internet."  But its like a huge black hole of content.  Endless and fascinating and impossible to know completely.

So now I'm driftwood, floating on a sea of ideas and stories and imagination, catching glimpses of the depths below.  Letting go.

What the hell.  What's the point?

You know how many apps I have on my phone?  None, zero, nada.  How pathetic is that?
How often do I text?  Almost never.
Download music?  Never.  I don't like current pop music much.  (When did I become that guy?)
Watch movies and shows on my computer?  Occasionally.
Boardgames?  It ain't just Settlers of Catan anymore.
Video games?  Not a clue.  But I sold out of every Halo novel I had in the store.
Dr. Who, Adventure Time, My Little Pony, and on and on and on?  Not my thing, but it's definitely a thing. How many cults things are there?  It ain't just Star Trek and Star Wars anymore.
Marvel Universe?  "You need to talk to Cameron and Matt," I say.
DC Universe?  Same response.

And on and on.

Makes me want to go to a desert island with a bunch of paper and pencils and just forget about everything but my own imagination for awhile.

And I see the younger folk actually seeking out material!  Whereas, I've put up filters because I feel overwhelmed.

Humans are going to be a completely different species in a few more decades.  And I'm going to just watch it all with a bemused expression, because I'm wired differently.


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