Shoulder angels (and devils.)

This is a dangerous time for me.

It's akin to quitting smoking for a month, and thinking one little cigarette wouldn't hurt.

Or dieting for a month, and rewarding myself with a nice creamy chocolate eclair.

Going into this recession, I've managed not to spend savings or incur debt. I've even managed to stay in the black (at least so far) as it deepens into what I think will be a "Bend Depression."

One of the reasons I've been so disciplined is because I knew that I needed a new lease. I thought if I had to move, I'd probably use all my savings and a goodly part of my credit, and I would need what credit was left in case it didn't work out. If I can get that issue settled, and its looking good, I will feel much more secure.

So...now it's more a matter of paying bills through the rest of winter and spring, and heck, even there I'm almost 2/5ths of the way.

(See how temptation makes the time conflate? Only the 6th of the month, but in my mind February is already done, you know, because orders take time to arrive, and then there's time to pay the bill and all....get thee off my shoulder, you little red devil!)

Oh, and there's new competition, but maybe if I stock up on every variety of Magic I can, I can still keep a good part of the business.

(Begone, tempter!)

Or...gee, books sure are selling well. Here's a list of really good books I can get! And they're on sale! What would it hurt?

( Wait a minute....why you!... brushes shoulder vigorously.)

And so on.

On my other shoulder is a stern faced little angel. Patience, it counsels. You will be rewarded for your patience.

(Wow, you really are a bore, you little goody two shoes....)

The angel is unfazed -- You can always get it later, it says. There are always deals.

(You really are a killjoy, I grumble.)


The little angel has help this time, convincing me. My major supplier, Diamond, is moving their warehouse from Kentucky to Missouri, and will be unavailable for special orders for two weeks.

Which is akin to quitting smoking, and then breaking down and going to the store and finding the doors locked.

Also, if I wait two weeks, all the charges will go into March credit card billing period, and since March is one of the quarterly months onto which I tack an extra week, it's an even better time to wait.

Day to day, baby!

On the longer horizon, I'm also thinking about what will happen when this economy recovers -- be it 2, 4, or 6 years from now. The big new Oxford Hotel will be coming along, as well as the retail around that block, and it doesn't appear to me (so far) like downtown will empty out or the foot traffic will suddenly stop, so....

...it would be nice to have some liquidity the next time there is a leverage event.

The last few times that opportunity arose, I was so deep in debt that I spent most of the upsurge just catching up.

Just once I'd like the opportunity to really take advantage of a 'hot' market, without having to borrow money to do it. It's going to be a long wait, perhaps, but maybe I can start to save up for it.

I'd much rather earn the money and spend it, than spend the money and hope I can earn it back.

I wonder what that would feel like....