I'll probably talk a lot about this in the future, when it actually comes to pass, but I'm preparing myself for the new Point of Sale computer that Diamond Distributors will be offering us sometime in the next few months.

I'm tempted to keep to my clipboards, but I won't. I've always underestimated the cyper world. I resisted going online, now I can't imagine doing business without it. I thought no one read blogs, and I've been surprised by the synergy, and the interest.

But, hey, look at this blog. You got it. Basic template; nothing else. I can point and click and I can type.

Paul-doh's first entries talked a bunch about how local small businesses were idiots for not adopting new technology. I winced, because I know it's true. I have no real excuse except I'm intellectually lazy and a technophobe. It looks like such a vast chasm to me.

I hired a friend in high school to help me through Algebra 2. He explained and explained, and occasionally I got a glimpse, but I had fallen too far behind. I gave up.

That's how I feel about software programs of all kinds. I get my resolve up, and start to read the manuals, and I'm lost in the first few paragraphs. I google for simple answers, and that sometimes gets me through a specific project, but I don't come away understanding what I just did. I look at "Dummies" type books, and instead of getting lost in the first few paragraphs, I get lost in the first few pages.

I went to a computer expert once, and paid him an ungodly amount of money to lead me through some basic stuff, and he just got impatient and did it for me and I never learned a thing.

My friend Aaron is a whiz, and sometimes he's even patient enough for me to write down in longhand, step by step, what he's doing. But six months go by, and I've lost it again. He's a friend, and I can't call him every time I need something. Linda and I have saved the 'Aaron answer' to once a year, and we feed him and entertain him when he comes over. I daydream about having his capability, and combining it with my down to earth business knowledge.

Linda tells a story of a guy coming to here church and playing beautiful music. She went up to him and said, "I'd give anything to be able to play like that."

And he said, "No, you wouldn't. Or you would have....."

After I graduated from college, I was so disillusioned and fed up, I swore I'd never, ever take another class. I would figure things out on my own. And I had always felt that I was an auto-didact; winging my way through school at a B average level with background knowledge from reading. That worked great for the fine arts, and the social sciences, but not so much for technology and science. I even figured out ways to get around that. I'd take a second year course in science, which didn't require pre-requisites, and avoid the 'gut' courses that I knew I'd have trouble with. I got very good at the playing the game of avoidance. Or I'd really study up the 3 days before a final, and it would be barely enough to get by.

My science and math scores were always higher on the placement tests than I would've thought. Because I was using my fingers to count, and using long and evolved logical routes with pencil and paper to get to the answer, without understanding any of the underlying math.

If all this technology was intuitive, I'd be O.K. But I have to actually know something. I'm hoping I can throw it all in Patrick's lap, and after he's learned it, he can teach me. I knew there was a reason I gave him such a big raise.

I'll muddle through. It's time.