Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Can't beat that. As long as Sally Heatherton exists, we bubble busters are unnecessary. She proves by her very existence everything we're trying to say.

When I first read some of her comments on the other blogs, I figured she was satire, but she was just close enough to real to wonder. She even scolded me for being cynical. I was flabbergasted.

Once I read her blog, it became obvious.

But I had the strangest reaction at first. I so wanted for her to be a real person. Some kind of cross between Gordon Gekko and Martha Stewart. The avatar of all dumb blond real estate agents. The sweet-bitch of all sweet-bitches.

I wanted her to exist, and I wanted to see her in the Thunder Dome against BilboBend. My money would be on Sally. She'd fling Bendbust against the ropes a few times, while touching up her hair and buffing her fingernails, then slam him head first into the mat. IHTBYB would scream revenge, jump into the ring, and she'd casually skewer him with one of her nails. She'd turn to me with a gleam in her eye, but I'd be backing away, shaking my head.

"I'm with you," I'd say. "I never really believed there was a bubble at all!"

I don't know how long she can keep it up. I once thought of making up a anonymous poster who was be as dumb and snobby and greedy as Sally, but realized how hard work it would be. And I never would have gone so far as to create a full blown persona, with her own blog. I think there's a book there, if she (?) can keep it up.

My best friend is convinced she's real. "I've met her....well, seen her at the club!" He wants me to pass on the following:

"Sally, I really need to meet you. You're exactly what I've been looking for! My wife is threatening to leave me unless I sell my condo development. She just doesn't understand how much money I'll make once this correction is over.

"Could we meet at Northwest Crossing? No one will see us there. (don't worry, my wife doesn't read blogs...). We could sample one of those tasty little Central Oregon wines....you know, I've looked all around here and I can't find the vineyards? Anyway, I need to see you. Please...you're just the kind of woman I've been looking for...

"After, we could go up to one of my condo's. I have one fully furnished for just such occasions."

A little pathetic, (he's pretty desperate), but I told my friend I would pass his message along.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Can't beat that. As long as Sally Heatherton exists, we bubble busters are unnecessary.

*

The whole reason I do this is to force the tough issues to come up to debate.

Our sally by design, will never focus on the tough or the non-popular topics.

If anything we can now enjoy a sarcastic attempt to protect the status-quo. That may be needed as the more humor the better.

The clothes-line issue is now an International Story. Our sally could be anyone in Bend or someone in another country. When a major story like what appeared last week in the WSJ appears, its quite normal to attract all kinds of people who want to be part of something new.

Trouble is these kinds of people generally get bored very quickly. I do note that all the topic matter is straight out of the latest google new's. Thus more than like YOUR sally is not even someone in Bend. There are few to NO specifics , just name dropping that can be found in the BULL storys online.

I personally find the sally stuff nauseating, it wasn't even funny to begin with. You yourself suggested that you thought she was real. While there really are people like sally, they would never waste their time with our group.

The real subject here that is being missed is that this clothes-line story is a major issue of control. How Brooks Resources controls every aspect of this town far and wide in very busy-body fashion. Hilarious that the richest and most powerful man in Bend has the time to send personal letters to a woman who chooses to air her laundry.

Anonymous said...

I wanted her to exist, and I wanted to see her in the Thunder Dome against BilboBend. My money would be on Sally. She'd fling Bendbust against the ropes a few times, while touching up her hair and buffing her fingernails, then slam him head first into the mat. - duncan
*
What would be the point? There are no ideas here. I'm interested in ideas. Sally is interested on in the kinds of issues that are discussed on TV.
I think what makes this group sort of interesting, as that generally you, ihtbyb, bem, ... a few others have something to say about bend.

Sally has really nothing to say.

There are lots of very good realtors close to starving in this city, and there are probably a 1,000 that have to move on. Her 'life is good' BS is actually quite irrelevant on all fronts. She pokes fun at those she pretends to represent, yet deny's that there is any pain or suffering in Bend. Such people do not exist.

One of things that I have attempted is that we focus on the truth, and we share that truth ( like the blind men and the elephant ) and together we all develop a big picture.

The sally crap doesn't help anyone. I feel that the IHTBYB blog debate mission statement is quite clear. Understand and analyze the Bend-Bust, and try to survive, and help as many of those who wish to survive.

The 'sally crap' accomplishes nothing for anyone, other than I have said ALL along, e.g. to create an avenue such that the whole world can laugh their ass off at Bend, Oregon.

In summary the realtors that I know in this town, are working their ass off and are seeing the toughest times in their entire careers.

I do not see it as a positive for this group to start ignoring reality at this point in time.

Duncan McGeary said...

I agree there is a definite new kid in town vibe. Which will wear off.

Still, Sally is very effective in holding a mirror to the moral vacuum at the center of real estate boom. The greedy real estate agent who doesn't understand she's living in an historical accident. Who has zero introspection. Who is a doomed species. (Not the rich, they'll always be with us, but the real estate lady.)

And it's very well done.

But I agree with Timothy that it will become old eventually. Sally does seem to have derailed the discussion a bit. I'm interested to see if she can keep it up.