I've been mulling over some changes at the store. Some big, big changes. So far I'm in the brainstorming stage, which means any and every idea is open to consideration. It also means I can't talk about it here, because so many of the ideas are crazy, and yet, I don't want you folks to point out all the holes until I've explored every idea.

Later, yes. In fact, later I'll want your input about whether to go forward. Or, if I decide not to go forward, we can do a dissection of the decision making.

I told my neighbor, John, at Pave Jewelry, and he laughed: "Do we need an intervention?"

I've made it no secret that I blow a fuse every 8 months or so. Sometimes I can hold off a year, but then the fuse blows in a fiery explosion of sparks and fire. I know my predilections, and try my damnedest to inoculate myself in advance. But the heart will go where the heart goes, and my poor, pitiful brain can but follow.

My wife, Linda, is no help. She always supports my leaps of faith. She encourages my foolhardiness.

She said a flattering thing, and a wise thing. She said, "I don't have any doubt that you would succeed. You have to ask yourself if it is truly what you want to do."

So that's the question. Do I settle for what I'm doing, which is finally becoming profitable and perhaps even moderately successful? Hey, can't I let myself be secure for even a little while?

Or do I take a wild leap into the blue?

How about playing it conservative and making money and relaxing? Would that be such a terrible thing? I'm going to be 55 years old in a couple more months. My career is in it's final stages. Do I really want to throw it into turmoil again?

Of course, there is no real security in small business. Doing nothing can also be dangerous. And I'm not going to be able to avoid big changes, it's just a matter of timing. I can put it off a couple of years, but big decisions are coming anyway.

I think doing nothing would make me old before my time. I have a desire to create a great store -- which isn't necessarily the same as a desire to create a store that makes great profits. In fact, they may be two different things. Creativity has always been a motivation to me.

Would I be better off being proactive? Getting ahead of the curve?

If I stick to what I'm doing, I'll be moderately successful over the short run, barring disaster. If I jump into a new situation, I put it all at risk. And for what? The excitement? The creative energy? Keeping the Best Minimum Wage Job part, instead of changing it to; A Pretty Good Job that I make better than Minimum Wage?

What often happens is that the fever passes, I come to my senses, I breathe a big sigh of relief. I'm in a very good position of feeling as though I have the option of doing something, but if every condition for success isn't met, I can back down. I've learned not to make any decisions I can't reverse.

I try hard to think outside the box. It's nearly impossible. It means being aware that there is a box, and straining to see it's outlines. It means swooping in at the ideas from odd angles, and questioning every received wisdom. What would happen if? Why not do both? What about doing neither, but is there a third option? When have I done something like this in the past, and what did I learn from it? Step outside the emotion and look at is dispassionately. Throw out the objectivity, and let emotions rule. Let your mind drift, then pounce on the idea. Sleep on it. Drink on it. Play a game of solitaire and give your brain a rest. Think on it some more. What is that weird idea? Is it really so weird?
And so on.

I like to think I love routine. That I don't like danger. That I'm not a thrill-seeking kind of guy. I like peace and quiet. A good book, a glass of wine. A nice movie, a walk in the woods.

But when it comes to business, I turn into a frikken daredevil.

Thanks for listening to my therapy session. The result is....I must be crazy. Yep, I'm definitely crazy. I'm going to go nap on it.