Tuesday, April 24, 2007

As a retailer, I was a little uncomfortable with the savaging of a local restaurant in some of the blogs this week -- whether the restaurant did the things alleged or not. It seems a little too much like negative political advertising; damned if you respond, damned if you don't.

Thing about having a storefront is that customers and friends tend to come and go over time, but enemies accumulate.

I don't care who you are, you are going to eventually have disgruntled customers -- sometimes for doing the right thing. People being people.

There are a couple of businesses locally that I haven't been happy with, but it never occurred to me to go after them in this blog. It smacks a little too much of vengeance. If I don't like a place, I don't go back.

And it seems a little over the top. Like the guy picketing a local used car dealer for selling him a lemon. Maybe so, but the very fact that you would go to such an extreme calls into guestion your complaint.

Anyway, I was saying this to one of my fellow bloggers and customers (Hey, Jon!) and muttering something about the 'customer isn't always right,' (which is something I try to avoid saying....) when the other customer in the store piped up and said,

"I was one of the ones making comments about.....(the restaurant.) "

That was completely amazing to me. We're a small town, true, but I didn't think we were that small. I don't think he was offended. And he told me that his experience at the restaurant was true, and needed to be said.

So....I guess that is the nature of the blogosphere. But it still makes me uncomfortable. Stores can just too easily be a sitting duck target.
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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

This article is largely concerned with Central Oregonians, or Hobbits as we call them in Cascadia.

In the old times there were three kinds of Sapiens that roamed the old earth, Hobbits in Cascadia, Goblins in Mordor { south and east of cascadia }, and Man { sometimes called people } in the old Arab world to the east, and the Asean world to the far-west, both across great oceans. Long ago man ruled the old earth, but he nearly became extinct and thus forgotten until the great oil wars. During the great oil wars the arab men and women of the east were completely wiped out by great diseases created by the Nazgul of Mordor. The people of the far-west { aseans } survived as they did not physically partake of oil wars, only financed them, thus in time they held most of man's paper money which of course was ultimately without value.

Concerning Cascadian-Hobbits, they're gentle creatures more concerned with the earth, .e.g. hiking, biking, generally being outdoors, and near things green that grow from the earth. They love children, micro-brew, and southern-cascadia grown pipe-weed. The simple things in life, they're despised by the Goblins in California/Mordor. The cascadian hobbits love to be outdoors. The goblins love prisons, their homes are like prisons, they build schools like prison's. The prison and killing industry was the basis for their economy.

The goblins south of cascadia they call themselves Californians { Mordorians } are only concerned with themselves, money, and their car- keys. They prefer metal or plastic, and live only for accumulation. They hate the natural earth and crave to cover it all with concrete and/or asphalt. The Mordorian's have completely covered their own native lands with asphalt and such, and they seem only happy when doing so in new lands.

Middle Earth, or should I say cascadia is now past its third age. The dark lord Sauron { Cauron in cascadia } of Mordor long ago forged the one car-key to rule them all, today californians all consider their car keys their 'precious', as the evil of long ago once worshipped the ring of power.

Mordor ( california ) has once again awoken, the californians have erected an Issengard right in Bend Oregon calling it "Franklin Crossings". The hobbits of bend didn't seem to notice change, until the sun was blocked by this new Issengard. This alerted the hobbits of bend, the Bend council long taken over by Goblins, Orcs, and Gollum like creatures spoke of more Issengards in Bend, and of great Mordorian subdivisions in the north called "Juniper Ridge". It is said that the Bilbo of Hobbiton was the first to notice the Issengard {Franklin-Crossing} monument from the Kanes of St. Francis while having a pint, at first it was thought that he had one too many, but in time others saw, and found that he was correct. The cascadian shire of Bend had forever changed.

The Nazgul or in Cascadia we call them the "Mercedes Driving Goblins" are trying to re-unite all the car-keys, they believe in the One Car-Key to rule them all of the old legend. The Mercedes has always been the greatest phallic icon to wealthy Goblins since the darkest times of the third age. When a hobbit see's a mercedes with mordorian plates they are taught as children to run seek shelter. The old legend speaks of Sauron not a goblin or man, but a spirit that oversaw the oil burning machines and all the business associated with its financial system.

To the old people there was the Farthings, there was west, middle, and east, the Hobbit people of Eugene were most west, and the desert dwelling of Hobbits in Bend were the most east. In the second generation after the great war goblins from the south or mordor, e.g. California came to plunder the land. Over the years the word got back to mordor that hobbits in Bend were weak creatures, that could easily be confined to small lots in mordor type subdivisions.

By the third generation, before our times the goblins had taken over Bend { desert cascadia }, and many hobbits you would not recognized they became like the gollum of the old legend. Legend says that Hobbits that adopt Californian and/or Mordorian habits become vile and ugly creatures.

Today the sun shines over hobbit Shire-Bend and many cascadian hobbits see a chance to take the one car-key that rules them all back to california-mordor. In this age it has been become more difficult for those that built Issengard { franklin-crossings }, as the the banks that funded these ventures were they themselves houses of sand. Once all around Issengard was destroyed, the young Goblins of California no longer came to cascadia for there was no hobbit blood to draw, as they're elder's had sucked the land dry. For generations the goblins descended on cascadia like locust in search of gold, oil, and trees, eventually there was nothing left so they moved on.

To the far east across the great ocean's in the east the gobllin's of mordor had turned their attention to pillaging the great arab lands of the old earth the land of man, where the ancient ones are of said to have invented algebra & Law. For long the the goblins of Mordor thought their car-keys were the source of power but they learned in the times that oil, was the source of power, so they destroyed the old world of the Far-East. They killed and killed for generations, in time, the children returning killed thier own, for this is all they knew of life. The returning goblins of the great oil wars killed their own family's upon returning to Mordor. In the end of their times they resorted to eating one another where the strong orc's ate the goblins, and nazgul ate the orc's.

The goblins of Mordor had become sicker and sicker by this third generation having wasted the land of the so called country of california, that which we hobbits call mordor. The Goblins of Mordor in the late third age discovered Oil. The Goblins consumed the oil, and bathed in the oil, and in time became Orc's. Millions of Orc's were bred in Mordor, and they were used for the great oil wars that went on for generations, until at last the oil was gone, and there was nothing left to steal in the arab-lands of the far east.

In thus doing as they struggle to build more Issengard { Franklin Crossing's ...} like monuments in cascadia they could no longer borrow from the people of the far-west, the so called Fourth-Age people {aseans}. During this time the hobbits of Cascadia saw an opportunity to once and for all rid themselves of those that worshipped the car-keys { californians, aka mordorites }.

The hobbits of cascadia banned the goblin-mobile, that foul spelling monstrosity that burns fossil fuels. Soon the Goblins had no means of transportation, as they had long ago lost the means to walk on their own. Generations of long wars of killing for the sake of killing for oil, and land left the Goblins without children, and they became gradually extinct. The Nazgul rules of californian had enacted a children's-service's, so called CSD, where all Goblin children were taken at birth and placed in Military Training Camps. In time the Goblins out of loss, simply quit breeding among themselves. This left only the NazGul to breed the Goblins and Orc's of California or as we call Mordor.

The hobbits of Cascadia tried to teach their young of the old ways of gentle earth loving folk, when the goblins lost their health they created television, that they broadcasted into hobbit homes with the hope of making hobbits love the things that goblins love, but the wise old hobbits simply unplugged the tv's. With the loss of the propaganda machine, the Goblin ideology's became legend.

In the fourth age hobbits reverted to simple life of old, as all the treasure that the goblins of california could take had been taken, but the hobbits still had a little water, some earth, and their love for things green. Hobbits had always known that the simple life was the best life, a completely different outlook on life than that held by the Goblins to the South and East of Cascadia.

The Nazgul leaders of california, unable to borrow wealth from the new age people of the far west { asean new world } wallowed in filth, and became extinct. They could not rape and rob as they had done in the far east { arab old world }, as they're great killing machines had long been destroyed by attrition. The people of the Far-West { aseans } would no longer finance the the great oil wars. In the final act of desperation the NazGul created a great disease which the people of Mordor called "aids", which was a combination of orc-blood from orcs that had leukemia and wild pigs. This concoction was found to be transmitted sexually and released in the Dark Conentinent of Africa far south of the Arab lands of the Great ancient east.

The Nazgul called land where the orc-blood and pigs were harvested "Litton-Bionetics". In time all of the black men, women, and child Africa was wiped out, it is thought that the goblins had intended to settle in Africa having destroyed Mordor and making it un-inhabitable. The so called 'aids' was unleashed in the Arab world, but failed, as they not being promiscious people, thus the nazgul resorted to creating millions of orc's who slaughtered the arab man, woman, and child by hand. Not since the slaughter of the Tasmanians in the second age, had entire population been wiped from the old earth. During the end times the goblins attempted to unleash their aids weapon upon the far-west aseans, but they being a clever people quickly developed an antidote. By these times the goblins of Mordor had become nearly extinct.

Eventually the returning children of Mordor all children who were killing machines, turned on their own familys, bringing an end to Mordor. Eventually the great tribes of far eastern Mordor fought those on the west, .e.g. the two great mordorian tribes of the west-coast and east-coast annihilated one another.

Most recently the surviving Goblins of Mordor have built 'The Shire" near Bend, a monstrosity that is supposed to be like Bree, but is just another Mordor SubDivision of the third age. Only a few homes in "The Shire" have sold, and those only to rich Goblins and a few Gollum like hobbits. Most of these new homes will never be built as the Goblin financial system had collapsed making it impossible to get easy money to build Mordorian structures near Bend. The goblins financed everything with credit, for they never worked, once the great credit systems that were made available by the great Aseans tribes of man in the Far-West quit financing Mordor most Goblins in Cascadia starved to death.

Hobbits prefer to live on a few acres, where they can have animals, and the children can play. The Goblin's preferred little 50by50 concrete lots where the home's actually touched each other, this was thought a way to as the Goblin Leaders { NazGul } could have the goblins keep an eye on each other.

All of the above is distant legend, its important that this legend be passed down. Even though the Mordorians have wiped themselves out, their spirit lives, the times of greed, war, rape, and pillage could return if the young hobbits are not educated. Those that not know their past are destined to repeat.

Hobbits will always prosper, for the Mordorians have nothing, they say our micro-brew and pipe-weed makes us lazy and unfit for war, they say that ours lands being absent of malls makes their lives boring. They say that our dislike of the oil burning horse makes their lives unbearable. We must never again allow Cascadian Hobbit Lands to become like Mordor to the South and East. So long as we're unfit for war, and our lands contain no wealth to Mordoriians we can live in peace. May our lives always move at a slow pace.

April 24, 2007 at 7:24:00 PM PDT
Unknown said...

I agree, Duncan, that stores can easily become sitting duck targets. But this is exactly why good businesses act as if the "customer is always right" even though you're right that they aren't.

Disgruntled customers are the most important customers to a business. The happy ones are easy. If you take care of your digruntled customers (rather than tell them to f*&% off) they won't go out there and tell their friends (blog, whatever) that you suck as business. They will feel vindicated and probably tell their friends (blog, whatever) to keep doing biz with you.

People love Costco because they will give you cash for any item you return for any reason. They take care of disgruntled customers. It's nothing more than damage control.

Another example is J&J pulling all the Tylenol off the shelves in 1986 due to a tampering scare. The only bottles that could have been tampered with were contained in one state. They removed all the bottles from every state because of the irrational fears of their customers. They didn't have to do that but it has built enormous goodwill toward the company - people believe J&J will take care of them no matter what.

So I firmly believe that businesses that get bad reveiws by customers are essentially cultivating the negativity by neglecting their disgruntled customers. Due to your success and longevity doing what you do I'm sure you already know all this.

Best,
Jesse

April 24, 2007 at 8:45:00 PM PDT

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