Headline puzzlers.

Nazi gold train.  How do you lose an entire train for 70 years?

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All men, no women on Ashley Madison. So what the hell was everyone doing?

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Stephen Hawking's new 'discovery.' Didn't he, like, discover this years ago?

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Water parks and water slides and "historical canals" -- and fires and fires and more fires.

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Hottest July in history. Just saying...

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I just can't get worked up over Trump.

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So there's this theory about Jon Snow and it goes like this.  Oh...fuck it. Who cares?

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Not once have I been "astounded" or "stunned" or "thrilled" by a bait click headline...well, except for cat videos. That happens every day.

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Damn. I swear I do all those "Things Rich and Powerful Do."  Unfortunately I apparently also do all those things "That Keep You From Being Rich and Powerful."

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Man, I'm outraged. Totally outraged!

Wow...am I tired.

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