Like clockwork, the doubts return.
I go through phases. I get energized and positive and productive.
Then I have a fallow period, where I notice everyone elses success and compare it to my own struggles.
The answer I always come up with is that the book itself is all that matters. The book itself exists outside of doubts and others and everything else.
I'm only a few chapters from the end. But I'm struggling with it. Probably not a good time to be struggling. Still, I had already mapped out the ending back when I was being positive so I'm following through.
I've mentioned before, I think my biggest challenge is rewriting. That I need to do a whole lot of rewriting to make the book work. That I just need to acknowledge that and get it done.
Writing through the doubts is going to be an ongoing thing -- just as not getting too carried away by my enthusiasm is going to be an ongoing thing.
I've let the outside world creep into this process more than is healthy for me, so it's back to putting on blinders and forging ahead.
16 hours ago