Friday, May 3, 2013

Closing my eyes.

JOURNAL;  5/3/13.

My subconscious is hung up on this book being accepted.  While my conscious acknowledges and recognizes that the chances are slim to none.  So all I'm doing is setting up my emotional network for a huge letdown.  But it doesn't matter what I say to myself, I still do it.

I've even come up with an involved scenario where being rejected is good: it allows me to keep writing until I get better.  So I tell myself.

But of course, I want to be published.  And I suspect I don't have the patience or the willingness to turn down any possible step forward.

Because I know that's all it would be even in the unlikely event that it gets accepted.

I could think, no news is good news.  But the other side of that, of course, is no news it because they don't care.

And under that and more important than that, is that it really hasn't been much time.

I'm thinking I should probably quit checking email for the next five days.  Finish the book, then check.  If I'm finished, it would be pretty hard to take that back.

I'm giving myself till the 20th of the month to do rewrites.  I'll just dip in every night and do a few chapters, at random.  Draw out a timeline and try to fix that.  Just overall try to improve the book.  Giving it a couple of weeks of rewrites is more than I usually do, and even then -- I plan to do another rewrite or two after I get it back from Lara.

Patience and hardwork are going to get me there.  Good work habits.

Whatever imagination I have burnished by learned skills and practice.

6 comments:

Duncan McGeary said...

I do these little journal entries to motivate myself -- this one seemed tame enough to share.

mugmkr said...

HI Duncan, I read this blog earlier this week and really appreciated what he says, it is quite insightful regarding being picked for something. Cheers, Owen

http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2013/04/getting-picked-need-to-vs-want-to.html

Anonymous said...

so you have quit posting comments?

Duncan McGeary said...

I may have to reassess my resistance to Seth, because that column and two following are exactly the way my head it going.

In a way, I've always run my store that way. Doing what I want. When I try to do things because I think other people want it, it usually turns out badly.

So I created a space and lots of people aren't going to come in or will come in and think, "this isn't my kind of thing." But assuming my tastes cross over at least partially with other people, there will be enough people who like what I do.

I've created a clubhouse where I worry about the people who can be members, not people who don't want to be members.

Duncan McGeary said...

There is one problem with what Seth says though. Understandable considering how successful he is.

Picking yourself may end up being only yourself, no matter how good you get.

So...in a sense, if you aren't willing to promote yourself, you won't get very far.

So asking other people to pick you, promote you, is an option.

"I'm presenting this for your consideration." That's about as far as I like going, and on your own that doesn't get very far.

Brian Henry said...

Hey Dunc,

I'm pulling for you my friend!
It will happen.