Scientists
killed the oldest living thing, a 507 year old clam, in order to study
it. It is no longer the world's oldest living thing.
To me, that says
it all in a clamshell.
There
it was, minding its own business -- thinking its long, slow, clammy
thoughts. Maybe it had figured out the meaning of life and the secrets
of the universe.
I
mean, that poor clam. Sitting there on the ocean floor -- happy
as...well...and along come humans prying open it's shell and it's
thinking, WTF? and it dies in shock and the scientists count its rings
and proclaim in the oldest living thing.
Well, was.
Whoops.
In the words of Agent Smith: "I'd like to share a revelation that I've had, during my time
here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species. I realized
that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet
instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding
environment, but you humans do not. You move to an area, and you
multiply, and multiply, until every natural resource is consumed. The
only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another
organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. A virus. Human
beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet, you are a plague, and we
are the cure."
Obviously, I have been mightily affected by the demise of this poor ancient clam.
I expect an extra-terrestrial war crimes tribunal over this horrendous crime.
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