Friday, November 15, 2013

Happy as a clam and then....

Scientists killed the oldest living thing, a 507 year old clam, in order to study it. It is no longer the world's oldest living thing. 

To me, that says it all in a clamshell.

There it was, minding its own business -- thinking its long, slow, clammy thoughts.  Maybe it had figured out the meaning of life and the secrets of the universe.

I mean, that poor clam. Sitting there on the ocean floor -- happy as...well...and along come humans prying open it's shell and it's thinking, WTF? and it dies in shock and the scientists count its rings and proclaim in the oldest living thing. 

Well, was.


In the words of Agent Smith:   "I'd like to share a revelation that I've had, during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species. I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment, but you humans do not. You move to an area, and you multiply, and multiply, until every natural resource is consumed. The only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet, you are a plague, and we are the cure."

Obviously, I have been mightily affected by the demise of this poor ancient clam. 

I expect an extra-terrestrial war crimes tribunal over this horrendous crime.

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