A heavy day of re-writing.

I had some pretty strong ideas about what I wanted to accomplish today.  I've only done part of that.

I did beef up the Bruce character a little -- and I especially fleshed out his father and a little bit his brother.

I was wondering whether to start the story with the villain, but it's the villain who sets things in motion, isn't it?

I need to have Cobb do something heroic right away, if I can think what to do.

A weird theme has developed.  The first chapter is more or less about Bruce renouncing his humanity and going to the dark side.

The second chapter, more or less, is Cobb embracing his humanity, and doubling down.

Kind of cool.  I might even be able to make that somewhat explicit.

I do think the idea of making these characters "human" is what I need to do.

And I do think I need to work hard on some neat descriptive detail of Cthuhlu world and Faery -- contrasts, if you will.

Show the dichotomy between Cthuhlu and Faery, and Bruce and Cobb.  Kind of perfect, actually.

I think the descriptions of the two worlds need to be really good, poetic.  I've gotten a start on it with Cthuhlu but I think I need to keep working on it.  I'm hoping to write a descriptive passage about Faery.

I also think I've got a false start on the second chapter.

I think the way it really should go is -- Cobb feels the Jotun arrive, the world shifts, and he knows that there is news.  Perhaps his long Exile and Curse has been removed.

So he contemplates how he feels about that.  Does he want to stay human, or go back to Faery?

So he makes his decision.  I need to have him do something heroic in the meantime -- save a Kimmil?  From a vicious pack of dogs?  Something like that? 

Then, just as he is making the decision, both he and the Jotun feel the shift -- the invasion begins.

So they have their little talk about that and Cobb goes back.

It will require extensive rewriting -- but I think it makes the storyline less muddled.  Right now, I've got all these motivations mixed up.

This separates them into two parts.

Plus he's not reacting to a dream, he's reacting to a summons.  It gets his ambivalence about being human up first, as well as his love of Lillian.

And then -- After he's made his decision, that's when the Cthuhlu enters the story.

The Cthuhlu can wait because it's already been introduced.


I think I accomplished a lot tonight.  But I also made a mess which will require a whole lot of rewriting.  Sorry about that.