I honestly can't tell if I'm making Faerylander better or worse.
It's just kind of crazy. I take stuff out, I put it back in, I move it around.
Then I try a different mix.
It's like someone shows you some paint samples that look almost the same and asks you which one is best.
I can't fricking tell. Sometimes I read something, and it seems to work. The next day it doesn't.
For instance, I have a couple of scenes of Cobb saving creatures -- and interacting with them, along with Jotun, the Giant. They add color and action and even a little humor.
And they are out of place. They aren't necessary to the story, they don't fit the tone.
So I have to take out colorful, action scenes. Ouch.
Is it better because I did? Worse?
I'm kinda of digging being in Cobb's world again. Starting to feel it again. Maybe that's what it takes -- being immersed long enough to start feeling it again.
I'm trying very hard to make it flow, to not have too many explanations. So I think I've created a more logical order of events. But in doing so, I've taken apart something that worked already -- in hopes that I can make it better.
I lose some good sentences and paragraphs when I do this -- and I'm not sure the new stuff I'm writing is better.
But I think I have to try. It wasn't working before and it may not be working now, but something had to be done.
I've decided to make yet another version -- what I'll call my "Severe" version. Take out all extraneous and or explanations.
No talk of Cthuhlu until he runs into Cthuhlu. No talk of Lillian, until he runs into Lillian. No talk of Dragons, or of the Giant's offspring. No Kimmils, no Sprites, no Elfs.
Just the Jotun. Just Cobb's decision whether to return to Faery.
See how that reads.
(Later -- took out all those things, but then went back and put the Cthuhlu material back in...better? Worse?)
I think it's going to turn out that the version I gave Wes is probably the best one, structure wise. I want to add to two rancher chapters early, but other than that say with the content.
Simplifying the motivations and the explanations early can be improved. I think I've deepened the a few of the characters.
So a whole lot of work for a few improvements, which is the way I guess it has to be...
It's very intensive and it takes lots of time. Strangely, much more time and energy than writing a story in the first place.
This was the first thing I wrote coming back -- most of the following books I avoided most of these problems.
But I have to believe that immersing myself like this, for days -- struggling and trying to make the story work -- that has to be to the good. I think, in the end, it probably even adds a little depth and polish, simply because I've gone over it so much.
Comics coming 6/20/18
3 days ago