The original smartass

Whenever anyone asks me the price of a small item, I always say, "$100.00."

Which stalls the conversations for a moment or two.

So I just had a couple of ladies in looking at books. "How are these books organized?"

"We do them by size and color," I say, with a straight face and a slow wink.

They usually laugh.

"No, they're by author.....unless they're not...."

"Oh, this sounds like the guy who answered you at the restaurant," one of the ladies says.

"The guy who said all meals are 100.00?"

Well, I'm just stunned.

"What? He stole my line! This is the 100.00 store; everything is in multiples of 100.00!"

"Well, it was in Kirkland."

"I don't care. He stole it. I was the ORIGINAL smart-ass."

So they wander around, finally coming to the counter with a book. "So they're half price?"

"Yes...unless they're not. Would you like a bag?"

"Wellll....maybe I better."

"That's O.K. We'll destroy the environment for you...."

I didn't say I was funny. Just a smartass.