Saturday, October 29, 2011

Not doing myself any favors.

It's no coincidence that I've been writing a new book since June, 2011.

That's about when I finally got the chance string more than 2 days off from Pegasus Books at a time. It simply takes me 3, 4, or even better 5 days off at a time to get anything on paper. Hell, I probably spend at least a day or two just getting creatively prepared. Mulling things over.

What this whole process has done, though, is shown to myself just how lazy myself really is.

It may seem a little strange to say I'm lazy when I'm writing my 8th complete book. But, given the time and inclination, there should have been so much more. A good case can be made that I wasted 2 of those books by not putting in that last bit of effort.

When I resurrected my 7th book, Sometimes a Dragon, I was surprised by how slender the whole thing was -- how thin. I remember expending a great deal of time and energy and thought on that book. I expected more.

I'm going to expect more of myself with this latest effort. I'm not releasing it until I think it is really ready. None of this -- "well, it's mostly there, let's see what happens" -- stuff. It's impatience, and hoping for someone to come along and "fix" things, and intellectual laziness.
I'm not doing myself any favors by being that way.

My 6th book, Deviltree, is complete. I was forced to rewrite it several times, and each time it improved. But I don't want to put it into the world until I've at least written a couple of more up to date efforts.

I'm even contemplating going back and trying the "fix" Sometimes A Dragon. I think it can be fixed, but I got scared by how much work it was going to be. Now, looking at how equally hard the latest book is going to be to rewrite, I realize that I have a leg up by having a first draft. In other words, I'm further along in the process with the seventh book than I currently am with the eighth book, but it took writing the new book to see that.

I wish it was easy.

But for me, it's not.

Still, if I really put the effort in, I could see having three new books out in the world a year or two from now. One I just wrote, one I needed to fix, and one I have already completed. Then I'd like to see if I can't come up with a sequel to the current book -- maybe even a series.

I may be dreaming, but -- well, it's that dreaming part that gives me the motive to keep going.

I stopped calling myself a "writer" about 20 years ago, even though I had three published books under my belt. Finishing three more books, and getting them out into the world -- by means of the internet -- I think I can start calling myself a writer again.

Hey, and five years worth of bloggin everyday!

1 comment:

OĆ­rme said...

Have you previously published a book? Interested.

Will you please check out my poems? I really would like some critique and don't want to ask my family/friends. It's my one escape from life, ya know? :)