Thursday, December 4, 2008

Dear dogs, please don't piss on the Christmas lights

Just had a gentleman come into the store, with a grim look on his face.

"You've got a dangerous situation in front of your store!" he said. "I just saw a dog peeing on the Christmas lights wrapped around your tree and he got an electric shock!"

Every once in a while, I get a guy in off the street who immediately launches into some story, and I thought this was a joke.

"Good!" I exclaimed.

He looks at me like I'm scum.

"What if a young kid gets shocked?"

Hmmmm. I see he's not joking, but now I can't resist.

"Even better!" I say, looking at him askance.

After he left, customer Aaron suggested I should put up a sign.

"Dear Dogs, (and kids),

Do not piss on this tree or you will be electrocuted. (All legal ramifications now null and void.)"


Duncan McGeary said...

Linda says I should have expressed sympathy.

In self defense, I've found doggy poop several times in the tree well. And I didn't see any dead dogs on the sidewalk.

There is an electrical outlet in the tree well. I'm not sure any outlet is meant to be pissed on....

Duncan McGeary said...

I told Pat to piss on the wires, but he refused.

Duncan McGeary said...

O.k. O.k. I reported it to Chuck, head of the Downtowners. It's their lights....

Keeneye said...

Chuck should make certain that the lights are safe --

it's his DUTY!

E said...


You were raised better than this; although I will admit as the years pass I become more attracted to notions of poetic justice. I'm sure it's all a part of our inevitable transformation into curmudgeons. If you really want to have some fun you should report the Downtown Association to the local PETA chapter.

Jason said...

"I told Pat to piss on the wires, but he refused."

Can you see people walking by while he's out there, and he just tells them all "Hey, I dunno, I just work here."