Saturday, April 7, 2012

The Gray and the Shaggy.

Dealing with my 92 year old Dad's medical problems yesterday, once again reminded me of the fact that we all of us --- everyone of us, rich or poor, smart or dumb, happy or sad -- will end up in these emergency, urgent care, hospital, and hospice rooms. Many of us will shuffle off to "assisted care" (nursing homes).

And that we all seem unprepared. Dad was facing the possibility of surgery, and so the doctor asked for "Advanced Directives", things like "Do Not Resuscitate" forms, and all. It turns out that nothing had changed since before my Mother died, and after that my sister, Tina. This despite the age of my Dad.

Linda and I have been horrible neglectful of our own affairs, as well. We are reminded of the need for things like Living Wills, and Wills, and stuff like that when things happen, but then we conveniently forget when things are going well.

My brother Mike is legal guardian, and he lives all the way in D.C. and that is a somewhat silly arrangement when I'm right here in Bend. But that is family dynamics, which I simply don't fight. (It is strange when my family is home: I go from being Master of my Domain -- self constructed as it may be -- to being the last person in the family to handle responsibilities. Ah, well.) It's somewhat easier in this day to communicate with cellphones.

The visit to Urgent Care was also a reminder of how we Americans are doing it to ourselves -- lots of overweight and obviously unhealthy people, lots of us who have been hard or neglectful of our bodies.

And I start looking at the age spots on my arms a little differently. As everyone my age realizes, you still feel about 30 years old inside, and so it's a bit of shock to see grey and shaggy. My Dad has a very, very similar body type to me, and it was shock to see him so helpless. It was the image I saw first thing yesterday morning, and it was the image that was still in my mind as I was going to bed.

It's also alarming to have Linda's back hurting her so much the last week or so. She's slowly getting better, but another reminder that we need to take care of ourselves, and to make plans, but also be aware that such things may soon be unavoidable.

Much as I'd like to just continue my thoughtless routines, I need to stir myself to make necessary arrangements.

Ah, life.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Virtually all bankruptcy in USA is medical related. Something to look forward to in your golden-years in the USA.

Virtually all civilized country's on earth keep their elderly at home around family. USA is one of the few nations on earth that warehouse their loved ones. But then the USA is by design a mobile society, where children leave their parents and go far away for jobs.

In virtually all nations on earth children are seen as a asset, an asset that will take care of you when old. In USA children are seen as a burden, and for children the cost of hospice care is a huge burden.

I say FUCK YOU to the USA.

-buster

H. Bruce Miller said...

"we all of us ... will end up in these emergency, urgent care, hospital, and hospice rooms."

Unless we're lucky like Tim Russert.

H. Bruce Miller said...

"My Dad has a very, very similar body type to me, and it was shock to see him so helpless."

I don't want to sound callous, but after all he IS 92 years old. That is still close to the outer edge of human life expectancy, despite all the propaganda today about how all of us will live to be 200. If I make it to 92 I'll consider myself very, very lucky.

My dad was diagnosed with diabetes at 48 and was dead at 62. Fortunately I'm not diabetic yet (fingers crossed) and am not a three-pack-a-day smoker like he was.