164.0  I decided to let myself get down to the lower weight. I'm going to be on the 1.5 dose of the GLP for another month. I'll probably let that keep happening since my stomach still isn't handling this well. Maybe by the time I see the doctor in December I'll be willing to try the next higher dose. 

 

Meanwhile, I seem to have about 4K more in the store account than I'd thought before. Usually when there is that much of a discrepancy I find out later that I left something out. We'll see next week. I should be able to save 5K next week too, so that would be about 10K saved in September. That would give us a good start on getting the 25K before Christmas.

 

Going in to the accountant this morning. I don't feel like I have all the information they need, but I guess he'll tell me and we'll still have nearly a month to get it all together.   

 

He gave me some advice on the idea of partnership. It's both more complicated and less complicated than I thought. I have decided to go the lawyer route. Trouble is, they don't seem to get back to me, which I'm just not used to. I can't think of anyone I do business with who waits for hours to answer, much less days. In fact, I'm thinking anyone who can't be bother to answer in a full day is probably someone I don't want to deal with. 

OK. I've got an appointment in the second week of October, so it's on. It's real. I think that's something that Sabrina will feel reassured by. It'll cost something like 2K or more, which I'm going to pay.  

The two realities of writing.

Funny, when it comes to creative success, there seems to be two realities, which contradict each other, and yet both seem to exist.

The first reality is the "fixed" game reality: movies, music, books success comes with the "who you know" reality. It helps to be a nepo baby, or to have gone to school (especially Ivy League schools) with people who already have a leg up. 

This certainly seems especially true with top tier actors, writers, and musicians.

The other reality is that talented people who are persistent, outgoing, and lucky can still make it in the business. But the key word there, I think, is "lucky." I suspect there are a huge number of talented people who never get the chance, especially to develop. 

I always suspected for myself that I needed a leg up on the creative process to a higher level from someone who believed in my talent. I was close, but not quite there. But I'm a quick leaner, who takes lessons to heart, so I would have been able to profit by such mentorship. But why me, particularly? There's the rub.  (By the way, I do think I reached a "higher" level in craft, but it came after much practice.)

I think I made the right choice to concentrate on the bookstore. Not that there was a whole lot of choice. One was giving me a living (barely), the other was not. When I came back to writing I had the freedom of writing what I wanted, when I wanted, as quick as I wanted. I could choose my own editor, my own cover art.

But I knew that very likely such an approach wouldn't be successful. Here's the thing: I calculated that even if I did do all those things you're supposed to do to promote yourself that the odds would be only slightly better and still really only mattered if the luck factor came into play.

I suppose you could say the more you put yourself out there, the more luck might come into play.  But it's by fractions. 

There is, perhaps, a third reality, the wild card of being so supremely talented that you simply can't be ignored. Is this a reality at all? I'm still not sure. My guess is, more likely not a reality. More likely luck (timing is part of luck as far as I'm concerned) and who you know are still the main factors. 

So why even try? Well, I feel like I've accomplished something, that I pursued my bliss, that I had a few successes that were satisfying on their own. 

Why am I not still writing? Well, I've proven I can write as many books as I have time, but it would just be one more book after another with diminishing returns. And the second factor is that it does become work, that having to turn the raw creativity into something ready for others to read actually ruins the enjoyment of that original draft. And if my payment is going to come in the form of that enjoyment, then I'm actually working against myself. 

I miss the moments when a character comes alive, a scene comes together, a surprise word choice, a sudden wisdom you didn't know you possessed: the creative part, eh. But it can otherwise be a bit of a slog, so you have to weigh both sides.  

Kind of cancels out.  

Decided to start doing vlogging on YouTube. Spent 20 minutes wandering around the store, straightening up, and talking to the camera as thoughts occurred to me. It's pretty wild and woolly and all over the place, but I think my manner is effective. I'm certainly not monotone and I do think I get the strings of thoughts together pretty well.

Next vlog I'm going to be more focused, try to keep it around 15 minutes. Make sure it has a beginning, a middle, and an end.

Not going to promote it in any way. I will not be surprised if absolutely no one ever clicks. For one thing, there are apparently hundreds of other bookstore people who are doing the same thing. 

But it's very satisfying to get it off my chest.  

 

The file wouldn't upload, though I did get an account with YouTube. Oh, well, it was an experiment. I'm encouraged enough to keep trying. I think my manner is pleasant and authentic and pleasing. At least to me.

 I need to get the camera angles better, and be a little more focused on a single subject. I'm going to try to replicate what I did this morning tomorrow, but do it in half the time. Just going to talk about my current stock boy job at the store.  

 

Apparently it did upload. So it exists...under "Duncan McGeary" on YouTube, as well as shared with my Facebook and Pegasus Books Facebook. 

I'll try to do better tomorrow.  

The changeover is coming.

When you've had a year of 30% increases, (this over the best year you've ever had) you get kind of spoiled. So when that rate of growth finally subsided in June to a mere 15%, it felt like a disappointment. But really, it's a more sustainable level of growth. I was a little worried about what would happen in August if we kept growing at that rate. I don't think our bandwidth, so to speak, could handle that many customers. 

What's happened is that we had a big surge in summer last year, with Pokemon and Magic and books and back issue comics all hitting new peaks. So I knew that as of June, we'd be piggy-backing on major growth which had already factored in. 

I think that's exactly what happened.  

It's harder for me to know what's happening with the broader market and economy. I believe Magic has settled down and Pokemon is not quite the mania it was last year. Books continue to grow, but it's a mature product line for us now so the rate of growth is good but not overwhelming. As I said, it's the rate of growth that has slowed. 

Bend is popular and downtown Bend is very popular, and we continue to benefit from that. I don't know how much longer people will defy the rising costs of everything, but so far it doesn't seem to have slowed down the flow. 

My workload is increasing. I'm going into the store for a few hours before opening to put away books and clean and straighten and break down boxes--all the things that is becoming increasingly hard to do during official store hours. Then I spend at least a couple hours most nights reordering books.

I don't mind. I actually like it. And if I wasn't around, it would be a real cost in time or money for Sabrina. (I'm very, very fast both ordering and stocking.) So I'm hoping to stick around--with Sabrina the owner. She seems OK with that.  

"I didn't know you were here!"

Listening to a podcast called "The Rise and Fall..." with Michael Girdley talking about big businesses that have come and gone. When I heard his B&N episode, he became credible to me. He pretty much got it right, though I wish he could have mentioned that Indie bookstores have had a resurgence as well. But mostly, it was pretty insightful. He ended by expressing some doubts about the story B&N is spinning, noting that almost all the stories were repeating the same things, sometimes the same words, which means it's probably a PR spin. I've heard enough from insiders to think that the big changes haven't been as big as advertised.

Anyway, I continued to listen to his podcasts and what became clear to me was how many business and industries and products have simply disappeared or retreated than I was aware of. Once they're off the radar, you just don't think about them

Businesses like mine that last 47 years seem to be rare. I've changed constantly, from being all comics, to almost all sports cards, to half a game store, to the present day, two/thirds books. It's a bit of a problem with locals because everyone who was exposed to my store in the first 30 years have an impression of my store that is no longer accurate. We're a full-time bookstore, with a fairly deep inventory for the space we have. Over the weekend we had families come in where the visiting members of the family were dragging the locals into our store and the inevitable comment: "I didn't know you were here!" Or "I had no idea that you were doing this!"

I try to look on the bright side. That means there are still a ton of locals to convince into being new customers.  

 

I started taking Wegovy pills six days ago. Not to lose weight--any more than 10 pounds would be really pushing it--but because the possible cardiac, liver, and kidney improvements. I got 4. milligram pills, but my understanding is the 1.5 to 2.5 is the normal starting dose.

It's not going well so far. I've had episodes throwing up and acid reflux and I feel off-kilter most of the time. I'm going to keep trying for another week. If it doesn't improve, I'll ask for a lower starting dose. But hey, I've already got six day in, so I'm going to try to make it work.

 

When you can recognize a Glenn Gould Bach tune by the humming in the background. 

I had a hankering for donuts the other day, but most of the usual places were out. I found a store that specialized in donuts and checked went in. They had none on display, but they had a sign with all the varieties.

I gulped at the price, over $2 each, but my hankering won out and I got two regular glazed donuts. (I like plain or old fashioned or glazed, but not so much the fancier stuff.)

Well, it turns out the donuts were huge; maybe twice the content as the usual donuts.

So worth the price. 

But the sign showed donuts that looked even smaller than normal. 

As a store owner I always notice what other small establishments could do to improve. I wanted to say, "Put some of these out for display so people see what they're getting!"

 But I bit my tongue. I came across a phrase recently that struck home. "No one likes unsolicited advice."

Now, I'd like to think I'd be open to advice that might help, but I know that in the past people have said things that cut a little. In most cases, there was a good reason why I wasn't doing what the person suggested.

Peace out. 

 

My doctor has approved Wegovy pills for me, but she's concerned that I'll lose too much weight. I told her that I was basically a 200 pound man in a 170 pound body.

I was 200 pounds for many years. I finally went on a campaign to lose twenty pounds and eventually stabilized at 180. I was there for several years before I had my heart attack.

A couple years after that I decided to go down to 170, so that I could fit into an entire closet of almost new clothing that I'd bought when I was younger or that my Dad wore.

I did this by calorie counting. I have a pretty good rough estimate of how many calories I'm imbibing as a running total. I cut back when I've overdone it, relax when I'm at my base. 

I recently tried to get down to 165, and while I reached that for a short time, I've been bouncing between 167 and 171 ever since. 

I'd like to say that I'm a disciplined eater, but the truth is that, except for pastries, food is just fuel for me. I'm conscious I need to eat but I don't need too much. I nibble a lot instead of full meals. For instance, I learned at the store that my lowest energy level is about 5:00 in the afternoon, so I always try to eat something around 3:00. 

At best I'd dare lose another 10 pounds, and even that might be too much.

So I'm going to do a reverse calorie count. Instead of trying to stay under 2000 calories a day (and usually failing by a little bit), I'm going to try to stay slightly over 2000 calories a day.