Thursday, September 1, 2011

I was brutally deflowered last night.

I am a cell phone virgin no more.

I had casually mentioned -- in passing -- that maybe -- I wasn't saying I was ready yet -- but I thought maybe since I was going on a upcoming trip by myself that perhaps -- just perhaps -- I might need to have a cell phone.

Then yesterday, I had sort of decided to maybe, perhaps I should get myself a stupid phone. No, really. As stupid a phone as I could get.

So Linda was all over that puppy.

I got home last night, and she handed me a brown-paper package. Inside was an old beat up copy of THIS SIDE OF INNOCENCE, by Taylor Caldwell. Somehow I knew, from the second I saw it, there was something inside.

The enemy. An IPhone 4.

Yes, my wife deflowered me for the price of the book.

She has been cackling ever since, in a nasty sort of way.

Of course, I immediately offered it in exchange for her android. That's the way it works around here -- we get a new car, phone, anything techie, and I inherit the older version. Because I just don't care. I'm not in to brands -- I just want something functional.

For the first time ever, she refused. Though I know she's coveting it. ("I'm in deep coveting," she said, as I read this.)

So not only didn't I get a stupid phone, she got me the smartest @^^@#@ phone there is.

I'm probably only going use a fraction of it's capabilities.

Twice lately, when we were out and about, I had a question about a word or a history problem,
which Linda was able to answer by hauling out her android. Does that make her smarter than me?

In a way.

I'm frightened.

Anyway, I spent over two hours last night playing with Pandora on my phone -- trying to get the right blend, reading the little histories of the artists.

Meanwhile, I'm not totally sure I even know how to call someone or answer the phone yet. I don't know my own frackin' phone number yet.

I'm intimidated, I tell you.

But I can never be a half-virgin, I guess. Every techie step of the way, I've been pushed, not pulled. But it's like some kind of irresistible force.

Bloody, fucking stupid smart phone!!!!

6 comments:

RDC said...

Be sure and get the free ebook reader software apps for it.

Duncan McGeary said...

Funny little things like trying to figure out where to carry it.

I snapped the holder on my hip, but that feels geeky and awkward: I'd normally stick it in my pocket, but I carry the store phone there all day.

Probably end up in my backpack because my backpack goes everywhere I do.

Duncan McGeary said...

Looks to overhead camera.

"NOOOoooooooooooOOOO!!!!!!

yokem55 said...

Muah ha ha ha ha...... You will be assimilated Duncan. It's just a matter of time....

Mr. Teacher said...

Super-handy little devices, those cell phones. I was a cell phone virgin until two summers ago. It was a woman that got me into it, too. I haven't talked to her in months, but I have already texted three people today and it's only 11:30am. And I won't even see any of them for a couple weeks. I don't even talk on the phone anymore, that is SO nice.

Congrats Duncan, it won't be too long before you are lost without it (as much as you think it is, that isn't a bad thing). It's so easy to be out and about and know anything using the phone. Using it to find places, or look up movie times, anything. I use mine at least twice a month to find an address, and have it give me verbal instructions on how to get there. And I don't even have a good one like the iPhone.

Anonymous said...

Apple has paid out over $2 billion to iPhone app developers. Smart phone apps are an entire economy.