That Health Thing.

I've been hinting about a health episode, but I've decided this blog is of no use to me if I can't be candid.

So I had a heart attack three months ago. I'm fine. A stint was put in and I was out of the hospital feeling normal within a couple of days. No damage was done to the heart. The chances of recurrence are low (but add up over time.)

But it certainly changed my perspective on things. It's been a slow process of integrating this new circumstance into my life, my emotions, my plans. I'm pretty sure I'm not done with that process.

First of all, I was surprised. I thought I was pretty healthy. I knew that me and cholesterol didn't get along and I've taken statins for years. I was walking every day, I wasn't terribly overweight, I don't eat lots of fast foods or red meat.

Years ago, when the cholesterol levels were first diagnosed, I asked the doctor if I needed to change my diet. He said, "It doesn't matter what you do. You're genetically predisposed and only medication can make the difference."

Now I'm taking four times the statin dosage, plus low blood pressure meds, plus a baby aspirin, plus medications that have to do with my stent. Some of these may be changed when I see the cardiologist in a couple of weeks. (My blood pressure is so low, I'm barely alive.)

The thing that has surprised me the most is that instead of pushing me into being more diligent about my writing, the opposite has happened. I'll explain more of that later.

I do seem to be living in the moment more. I have always had the tendency to live in the future. "When I get to this place, then I'll do that" kind of thing. It's a McGeary trait.

Also, emotionally, I seem to be more in the Warren Zevon mode: "Enjoy every sandwich." I actually feel much more relaxed for some reason. There's the lingering sense of "borrowed time," but it has just made me more willing to enjoy the smaller things.

I've been on a tear to shape up. I was good about my diet for one month. I've gotten back to walking diligently. I'm sleeping more, worrying less. I've lost 20 pounds since Christmas and I'm keeping it off. (Maintaining 180.)

I'm trying to shape up stuff I've been putting off. I need new clothes to fit my 20 pound lighter frame. I've gone in for new glasses for the first time in seven years. I finally went to a dentist-- and instantly had a crown put in, plus two smaller cavities, plus cleaning. All this costs a ton of money.

I've decided that we're financially secure, though instead of cashing in the vested portion of my life insurance policy, I'm keeping it going. Heh.

So the biggest takeaway?

Well, the biggest takeaway is how much I love Linda. She's magnificent.

But the second biggest takeaway?

I was feeling somewhat guilty about not working more at the store. I was out at least $25K per year by having a manager and not working. So over six years, that's a significant amount of money.

When I was in the helicopter being ferried to Bend, I had one very clear thought.

Thank God I chose to do my writing.

Working till you're dead ain't no way to go about things if you have a choice.