Doubt isn't an indicator of quality.

For about five years I went merrily along writing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, however I wanted.

When I finally slowed down last year, doubts set in. See I've always known I have the imagination to tell a bunch of stories, but I wondered if any of them would stand out.

I can say that most of my books are better than I expected to be able to do--regardless of whatever anyone else might think. They were fun to write and I learned something each time.

But I've felt for a long time that I'm not quite getting there, as far as reaching people is concerned. I'm not sure this is all my fault. I think the system is tough and somewhat broken. Nevertheless, if I had written something that blew people's socks off, that would be noticed, right?

(This assertion is debatable and unknowable.)

So I decided to think on it for awhile, and the longer I think on it, the more second-guessing I do. The more doubts set in. The more I've created perhaps unachievable goals. The more susceptible I am to writer's block.

I'm losing that innocence to just let my imagination go.

Maybe not the best time to be working on stories that didn't quite make the grade the first time I wrote them. Heh.

I'm not sure these stories aren't as good as the ones I've released. They just needed a little work to get them right. The Catch-22 of this is that the more I work on them, the more doubts I have.

Doubts aren't really the indicator of quality, frankly. I've finished plenty of first drafts that I thought were stellar, only to come back and improve them greatly upon reflection. I've had other books that I struggled with, put out when I couldn't think of any other way to improve them, and then had them be my biggest successes, as far as sales and reviews go.

The doubt is really a problem in motivation. It is hard to get myself going when I start having them. I tend to dither a lot, not accomplish much. I don't think I've lost my mojo. I still write an occasional full chapter that I think is pretty good. It's just sustaining that momentum that I've having trouble with.

It doesn't help that I don't really enjoy rewriting or research, no matter how helpful they are.

Objectively I can tell myself that it will only take a couple of weeks or a month to finish something--then I dither and dither for months and months.

When I finally get to work, it only takes a couple of weeks or month to finish something, just as I predicted, and I have to kick myself for procrastinating. Ugh.

Anyway, it's a process of motivating myself, getting myself started and sticking to it.

I finished the rewrite of "Takeover," changing it in the ways I wanted to, and it works--at least better than the previous version.

Now I need to do the rest of my unfinished projects. Just tick them off, one by one.

(Since I wrote this a few days ago, I've already finished "Eden's Return" and made some headway on Castle LaMagie, which I've retitled to Spell Realm. It was two/thirds finished, and when I started reading it, I was intrigued. Back to writing!"