The Six Rules of Vampires.

Just for fun, these are the six rules of vampires I created for my book, in the scene in which I reveal them.

It would be very easy to come up with dozens of rules, actually, but I wanted to keep it simple and pertinent to the plot of the story.  All suggestions welcome.

 

"Rule #1," Terrill said. 

They were in Paris, right after the Nazis marched in.  It was a glorious time to be a vampire, death all around them, their own murdering ways completely unnoticed.

Nevertheless, Terrill was working out the Rules of Vampire, and using Horsham as his sounding board. 

"Rule #1," he repeated. "Never trust a human."

"You'll have a hard time with that," Horsham said.  "We've gotten accustomed to our human lackeys..."

"That's exactly why it must be changed," Terrill insisted.  "Humans have too often betrayed us.  We must disappear from the world in order to survive the world.  Kill any and every human who discovers us."

"But won't the humans notice the murders?"

Terrill went on without acknowledging his question, thereby answering it.

"Rule #2.  Never leave the remains, or if you must, disguise the cause.

"Rule #3.  Never feed where you live

"Rule #4.  Never create a pattern.  Kill at random

"Rule #5.  Never kill for the thrill.  Feed only when necessary to eat."

"Good luck with Rule #5!" Horsham laughed.  "Vampires kill because we like it, and only secondarily to feed."

Terrill shrugged.  "Those vampires who don't follow the rules will be discovered and destroyed.  The fewer the foolish vampires, the better for the rest of us."

"I thought you were trying to avoid our extinction?"

Terrill frowned.  "Yes, but we don't need more vampires, we need smarter vampires."

He continued.  "Rule #6.  Never steal in the short term, create wealth for the long term."  Terrill turned to Horsham and smiled.  "As you're fond of saying, 'Compound interest is a vampire's best friend.'"

"Yes, but you must have wealth to start with."

Terrill shrugged.  "So we make a one time exception."

"What else?"  Horsham asked, curious despite himself.  Vampires didn't follow rules; it was one of the things that separated them from humans.  They did what they wanted when they wanted.  But he had to admit, it was becoming rarer and rarer to come across other vampires.  Alarmingly so.

"That's as far as I've gotten.  I'm sure there are more."

"No doubt thousands of rules.  Maybe you should stop there."

And so he had.  Horsham, for one, had lived by these rules ever since.  And so had Terrill, which is what had made him so difficult to find.  Until now.