The big rodent (rockchuck) is back eating my garden. My wife had tried to block his exit from a rock pile by rolling boulders over all the holes.
"We must kill him," said my soft-hearted, sweet wife.
"Really?" I gave her a startled look.
"Well..." she says, immediately reverting back to my animal loving spouse and away from fierce protector of husband's garden. "He is just trying to make a living, I suppose."
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How come a toe fungus guy can afford to advertise every day in the Bulletin, and I can't?
Obviously there are a lot more people with toe fungus than who buy comics.
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My front lawn has turned into a weed and daisy patch and my lawn mower is near kaput and out of gas and it costs a thousand bucks to hire someone to put in a new lawn and I have no days off and a rock path would also cost a thousand bucks and my neighbors are giving me the stink-eye and I'm pretending it doesn't exist.
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Homeless on the High Desert says he could give a "Rat's Ass" about Micheal Jackson R.I.P. I too could give a rat's ass, but I would never, ever say so out loud. Then again, I've learned never to dismiss other peoples love of pop culture icons. And, by the way, Micheal Jackson having been fifty years old just makes me feel ancient.
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Linda tells me that her son Todd got mad at her when he was little, and said, "I wish Farrah Fawcett was my mother!!" My wife said sadly, "To think, he would have just lost his Mom...."
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They go in Threes. I'm not sure if Ed McMahon is on the same level -- I suppose he is, actually.
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I haven't even hauled the air-conditioner out of the closet yet. Weird year.
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I figured it out. I need to entice the cougar that was sighted in my neck of the woods to my backyard to take care of the pesky rock chuck.
Of course, then I have to get rid of the cougar....
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