I'm sticking with this rewrite of "Takeover," though it isn't easy. I'm not trying to force it though. I want it all to feel right.

I need to write a fresh chapter, detailing the immediate relationship between Nicole and Hart, with Granger also in the scene. I think it probably best I just write it fresh, without reference to what I've already done.

One thing I didn't really realize is that--since 1st person is usually a device to bring characters closer--when everyone is 1st person is a bit distancing. It makes it hard to maintain a single tone long enough for the reader to relax into the story. I'm trying hard to fix that, but I think it is an intrinsic feature of the epistolary format.

The last 2/3rds of the book works better because by then I was intent on the plot and on scenes. The first third were character sketches.

If I can go back and try to turn as much of this into plot and scenes, then the whole thing might work.

I'm pretty sure I'll release this book, because I believe it has true merit, but I also know it won't be everyone's cup of tea, and I'll brace myself for negative reactions. One hopeful sign is that even the previous version seemed all right with the three or four readers I had, so if I can make it better, then maybe it will all work.