Navigating the subconscious current.

As I mentioned yesterday, I wasn't happy with the last chapter I wrote.  I decided I would rewrite it from scratch, without reference to previous writing.  Good thing, too.  Because the previous chapter disappeared from my computer.

When that happens, I wonder if I had some sort of brain burp, where I had intended to cut and paste and instead forgot. Or what?  It is somewhat alarming when you lose an entire chapter -- it can ruin your whole day if you let it.

I very self-consciously decided not to get upset and to go ahead and write a new chapter.  Which worked out fine.  It was a better written chapter, which matched the flow of the book much better.

Best of all, at the end of the chapter I had two crux points covered by one event, when originally I thought I'd have to have two separate chapters to get to the two crux points.  There was a certain synchronicity to this discovery -- the subconscious at work again.

It remains an ongoing question to me how writing occurs -- how much is conscious and how much is subconscious and what the blend of the two is.

It seems to me to be like navigating a river.  The momentum comes from the flow of the current.  Whether you survive the trip comes from conscious navigating.

Meanwhile, on both Tuesday and Wednesday I had to make quick trips to the store to deal with banking issues.  On Tuesday I went early, and finished by 2:00.  This should have given me six hours to write, but instead, my mood was completely off and I didn't do much.  Meanwhile on Wednesday, I decided to wait until after 4:00 and get the writing in early.  That worked.

If I get my "blood-roiling", which is what I call being exposed to the outside world, then it is much harder to settle into the subtle rhythms of writing.  At the same time, I'm completely convinced that I need to have my blood roiled on a regular basis so I don't turn too much into the weird recluse writer that is my natural inclination.  Working at the store helps, but I'm not getting enough of that.  Helping Linda at her store is both necessary for her and helpful to me.  And then there is the walking in the wilderness, which I love. 

Facebook just seems to show me what a recluse I really am.  Thing is, I'm only bothered by it when I think about it...