I think I'm beginning to think like a writer...

A horror publisher had "open" submissions, so on the spur of the moment, I sent him Death of an Immortal.

He wrote back:  "I read the first few chapters of your book and I really liked it. But..." "... I had a tough time selling Best New Vampire Tales, so I think Death of an Immortal would be a struggle. Sorry about that."

It's a rejection, but at least it's a personal rejection.

Vampires are passe, is the way I interpret that.

I think the first rejection a few months ago from an agent really hurt because it was so impersonal.  I was really doubting myself.  Had I completely lost my mojo?

I think Death of an Immortal is pretty good, actually.  But I haven't had enough people read it, frankly, to get much feedback.

Early feedback was stuff like "good job"  "way to go" -- which is pretty non-committal.  Sort of like saying,

"How did you like the book?"

"It was interesting..." (Interesting good?  Interesting bad?  What the fuck does that mean?)

Heh.

Sliding scale, those are soft letdowns.  Saying you "like" something, probably means you could tolerate it.  Saying you "really like" something, probably means you liked it O.K.

So I've gotten that second response now from a person I didn't know -- but also people who read that sort of thing.  And both said they "really liked" it -- translation, they liked it O.K.

So I'm encouraged.

Hey, it doesn't take much.

I think, generally, I'm just more comfortable with the old fashioned publishing business.  I trust in third parties who don't know me to give me a fair hearing -- I've always done well in the past on that basis, when I gave them something worth reading.

So I have to trust that if I give them something worth reading, that I'll get a fair hearing -- probably fairer, actually, than people I know.  That's kind of the way it works, I think.  Too much baggage.

I have to be ready for rejections if I go that route -- form rejections.

I'm thankful that the internet is there to put my books on if all else fails.

But I have a weird faith I'm going to get published again.

Anyway, I'm going to send the same publisher "Nearly Human."  The book I've been struggling with.  The first book I tried to write when I came back to writing -- and which I love the idea of, but had trouble getting it right.

 The "High Concept" of the book is really top tier.  But my execution of the idea is in doubt.  Still, I've worked on it so much that I think it's time to expose it to the world and see what the world thinks.

I feel like I just need one step -- one small success -- which I can leverage into getting an agent.

I think I'm beginning to think like a writer.