How did that happen?

So, how did that happen?

How did I take an originally interesting character and mellow him out to the point of blandness?  A character who most people responded to, especially the kind of people who are most likely the read the book?

Actually, I can think of all kinds of reasons.

1.) Part of it was my original training.  I worked with a pro when I started, took classes from him, and met with him fairly often.

His attitude was that you take that stuff out.  And he wasn't wrong.  I mean, I did get published.  But I also think he came from another era, and I think writing has changed. 

2.) Which goes into the second reason -- to make the plot work.  I needed to concentrate on plot, flesh out the other characters, and so on.  So I couldn't have the focus be only on the narration.

3.) I needed to make the main character sympathetic, so I toned him down, softened him.  Instead, now I see that his very problems are what can make him sympathetic, and the way he learns from them.

4.) People didn't always like the bracketed asides.  But all I really needed to do was keep the snark, drop the brackets.  (I kind of knew that, but still...)

5.) There were considerable anachronisms in the snark.  The narrator is old and immortal and since he's narrating, he might refer to any time or place, wordage or concept.   Again, that just needs to be explained by who and what he is.

6.)  I needed him to be consistent.  But -- in fact, if the VERY BASIS of his being is his inability to be consistent, I don't need him to be.  In fact, he can be consistently inconsistent.

7.)  I couldn't keep up the satire.  It's hard to be consistently interesting about pointing out the peccadilloes of humanity -- I mean, to be original about it.  I just didn't think I could keep up a full book of it.

The mistake I made was to think of it as satire, instead of behavioral.  It's the character's attitude I'm explicating, not the outside world.  The outside world observations are simply his reaction to them.

8.)  I was afraid a stronger tone would wear people out.  I'm still a little concerned about this.  But I'm not giving the reader enough credit, and frankly I'm giving myself too much credit.  In other words, I try to be outrageous and it usually comes out as a little more interesting...heh.

The best thing about this, is I'm excited by the book again, and I have to believe that will translate to the reader.