I've really messed up my last four visits to my sister's, over the last 10 days or so. For which I could kick myself. I managed to arrive her house when she was already so tired from the day that she couldn't respond, or when other necessary nursing things were happening.
But the speed of her decline really caught me off guard. I knew that I would soon need to up my visits from every two days to every day, but a couple of other things got in the way, and I was surprised by what happened.
It probably shouldn't have surprised me. A month ago, she was talking about going on long trips to visit old friends, and she was still taking chemotherapy.
Then a couple of weeks back, I turned to my wife as we drove away, and said, "She's letting go."
Now they've moved her to a hospice bed in the living room.
We visited last night, and it really hit me. The room was full of people talking and laughing in the background, but it was like I had a sadness cocoon around me as I sat in the chair by her bed.
Like our Mom before her, her many friends and her family are rallying. It's nice that my siblings have done well enough in life that they can come and do this.
Her kids, Mattie and Sam, are here, and Ernie has been a rock.
Tina (Pool) McGeary has been calm and cheerful through it all. It just not fair that a spirit and personality as large and kind and generous and funny as hers doesn't have another 20 years to enlarge and fill the people around her. I'm going to miss her.
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Duncan, your column on Tina is a very touching tribute to her. I had the pleasure of working with her for many years at Bend High and had a wonderful visit with her last summer, which I will always treasure. Take good care, and thanks again for your writing.
When my dad became bed-ridden with his cancer, it was a only a month or two later that he was gone.
He was also a Christian Scientist and he swore off drugs to help with the pain. That is until the last weeks when it was too unbearable. For him to ask for morphine shows how bad the pain really was.
If you have anything left to say, now is the time.
Tina passed away yesterday afternoon.
This was quick. When my Mother quit eating or drinking, it took more than a week of unconsiousness. She had Lou Gehrig's disease, and I think she might -- underneath it all -- have been physically stronger than Tina after months of setbacks.
Only the day before Tina had woken up enough to interact with her two kids, Mattie and Sam, and with her significant other, Ernie.
Linda and I spent Saturday evening over there, and I finally allowed myself to grieve.
We came again Sunday morning, and her stalwart friends Joyce and Georgie had brought pastries and we talked away the morning. Mom's and family friend Ruth Burleigh came by, and apparently after we left some other friends came by as they had all week after word got out...
But I'm very glad that sister Sue was here, and Betsy was here last week, and Mike got to say bye a while back. And most of all, I'm thankful that both Sam and Mattie were home.
Like I said, this was quick. Linda and I went to see Up in the Air late yesterday afternoon, (it seemed like an incredibly sad movie to both me and Linda) and when we got home, our doorbell rang and my sister Sue was at the door.
We've known this was coming for six months or more, and I got my chances to talk to Tina many times.
She was truly a great lady.
Glad you had many chances to talk to her.
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