So at this moment of best results, I'm suddenly less confident instead of more.
I think it's because my expectations are now higher.
Here's something I know about myself. I operate much, much better as an underdog. Of course, in the grand scheme of things, I'm still an underdog. BookBub was great, but the effect will wear off. But still, now I'm having doubts about myself. Weird.
At one point, I had actually put "Deadfall Ridge" in my Maybe ledger. It was only after the final rewrite that it moved into the Definitely Publish ledger. Make me wonder if I've been wrong about some of my other Maybe books and vice versa.
See...I'm thinking too much about it.
I find myself trying to decide what to do next--which has never really been a problem before because I just did whatever I felt like without regard to strategy. I have to think this policy has worked up to now.
Really, it probably doesn't matter. I'm fatalistic---or realistic--about chances of success as a writer. It has too much to do with things I have no control over. So I wish I could go back to my original impulses.
Hell, I spent an entire year writing books without submitting anywhere. That was a glory time, in some ways. It was pure writing.
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