Christmas Eve is a drug.

Every year the same thing happens.

About 5:00 Christmas Eve, a giant wave of lassitude sweeps over me. As if someone shot me up with endorphins.

I used to think it was delayed Christmas feelings. Strangely, in retail, it's hard to get into the Christmas feeling.

But I think it's more that the weight of worry has been lifted off my shoulders, at least for a while. I don't have to worry about having enough money in the bank to pay the bills. I can almost go into hibernation in January and February. What will be will be.

There is always a low grade worry when you own a business -- that you bought the right things in the right quantities; that people will come in the door; that they will be willing to pay the price you need.

The boundary between what a small retailer needs to survive and the price the customers are willing to pay is very very narrow.

So you are always walking a very thin line. And almost inevitably, during the normal course of a year, you'll be making mistakes. Little mistakes, mostly. Occasionally a big one.

You try to deal with it within cash flow, but sometimes you have to fall back on credit. So the credit debt starts to slowly accumulate.

And then, about twice a year -- the end of August and Christmas Eve -- you get enough of a boost in sales to not only pay the bills, but to pay down on the credit debt. You may not get it all the way to zero (I won't this year, because I decided I wanted a full store) but you take the edge off.

Then the low grade worry sets in, day after day, until the next Christmas Eve.

But right now, I'm just enjoying it and letting it wash over me.

Merry Christmas Everyone!