Thursday, November 11, 2010

"Go ahead. Make my day."

About the new graphic cigarette warnings.

First of all, I'm shocked and alarmed to find out smoking is dangerous!

What's next? How about an audio chip, that every time you open a pack pipes up; "What? Another one? Your funeral, buddy!"

You could use a variety of voices.

Freddy Krueger: "Go ahead... put it on. It's in your blood. That's it. Put it on. Feels good, doesn't it? Yeah... come on. Let your daddy show you how to use it."

Gollum: "What’s it doing? Stupid, fat Hobbit! It ruins it!"

Darth Vader: "You are unwise to lower your defenses!"

Wicked Witch of the West: "Ring around the rosie, a pocket full of spears! Thought you were pretty foxy, didn't you? Well! The last to go will see the first three go before her! And your mangy little dog, too!"

Dirty Harry: "I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

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Not reporting your wife missing for a week. Might seem a tad suspicious.

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Land prices in Bend have dropped 40 to 60%?

Actually, that doesn't seem like enough. Self-evidently.

But where are all those money people who proclaim Bend's bright future? This would seem like a good time to get in on the ground floor. After all, we are going to see hordes of lifestyle refugees and retired folk, right?

Meanwhile, Urban Growth Boundary? -- meet bare land. Bare land ?-- meet UGB.

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Speaking of UGB. Someone posted a ongoing discussion on the Bend Economy Bulletin Board, entitled: The UGB. Expansion process: Like watching grass grow.

They got that right.

They posted it 2 and a half years ago....

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I've always made the case that if you want to know how a retail district is really doing, visit it in the off season. Say, on a cold, snowy Wednesday in mid-November.

Had to go through the Old Mill yesterday. Not a shopper in sight. Yet all the parking spots in front of the stores were filled.

Sure, they have acres of parking, but the walking distance is at least equal to the parking garage downtown.

Not that the shopping activity downtown was much better....

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5 comments:

H. Bruce Miller said...

"This would seem like a good time to get in on the ground floor. After all, we are going to see hordes of lifestyle refugees and retired folk, right?"

Could be a good time to get in on the ground floor if you're prepared to wait 30 to 50 years. I'm not.

Duncan McGeary said...

I totally agree.

Interesting, though, that all those folks who assure us that Bend is going to boom -- don't seem to be willing to put their money where their mouth is.

I once testified in a court case about the value of sports cards.

I said one thing, another 'expert' was much, much higher.

My response was: "If you think they are worth that much, buy them! THIS is what I'm willing to pay -- today."

Judge totally went with that...

H. Bruce Miller said...

My Wandering Eye post on this and related topics might be of interest.

Spockgirl said...

"I've always made the case that if you want to know how a retail district is really doing, visit it in the off season. Say, on a cold, snowy Wednesday in mid-November."
I totally agree. The bonus side to that is they might feel sorry about it and actually buy something. Maybe???

Oh... and the audio chip cigarette warnings could actually be a great marketing tool. Just imagine... One day a smoker goes out to by a pack of cigarettes and upon opening it, finds he is greeted by the voice of Darth Vader. He then discovers that there are other audio chips encoded into other packs of cigarettes. He then proceeds to buy nine more packages trying to get his hands on the "Dirty Harry" one, but ends up with five wicked witch, three Gollum, two Freddy and one Darth Vader. Heh.

Duncan McGeary said...

Funny. I thought of that, too. You know, sports cards got their start with cigarettes...

Would be a win/win. Or a lose/lose.