Gunshots in the distance,
beer can in the dirt,
nature ignores the hurt.

Airplane rumbles above,
man-made clouds,
the skies endure.

Broken sofas,
shredded foam,
mark the path.

Revving motors,
drown the wind,
the birds cry.

Black tires,
eternal decay,
claim the land.

Branches broken,
rocks and dust overturned,
the earth abides.

I walk in the beauty,
and the wreckage,
and apologize.

I walk in summer twilight,
when others are at home,
I walk in summer twilight,
to be alone.

The red skies,
burn away day's worries,
the gentle breeze,
seeks me out, reassuring.

The creatures of day,
are seeking shelter.
The creatures of night,
yet to emerge.

The land is waiting,
as it always has,
quiet in anticipation,
of night before day.

Light fails,
in blazing hues,
eternal beauty,
in peaceful glory.

In between projects, waiting for something to happen.

I hadn't expected to spend so much time on "Takeover," though I'm glad I did. What usually happens is I start to tinker with something, then it draws me in deeper, and then a little deeper, and then I find myself all in.

So I have to figure out what to tinker with next.

I'm thinking probably I'll do the four novellas. I decided to ask for "Eden's Return" from my publisher, and push "Takeover" as the next release instead. Since I'm bringing it back, I'm going to give it a good rewrite, and then send it to Lara when she can get to it.

But until then, I'm going to finish "The Wyvern Riders," which is 80% done. Then draw maps and background facts about the world, to make it consistent. What would be fun would be a map, and I may ask if Andy Zeigert would be willing to put one together for me.

I've decided that even though I have a publisher who will do the covers and editing, and they do a good job, I'm going to finish off each project myself. Try to have both editing and covers done under my auspices. If not both, then either editing or cover.

This is going to cost me some money, but at the same time, it feels good to have this stuff under my control. I'm not sure why.

Almost and Done are two different states of being.

Apparently, I was feeling pressure to have a book finished for publication and didn't really know it. Finally getting the sequel to "Deadfall Ridge" done is a big relief. I think "Takeover" is finally ready. I've already contracted a cover from Mike Corley, and my editor, Lara, is going to be giving it a last edit over the next month.

My publisher, Crossroad Press, would ordinarily do both the cover and the editing, but I decided I really like Mike's work, and I really like Lara's work, and this is my package, even if it does cost me. I may do this in the future, too. This may literally cost more than I make, but I like being in control.

The pressure to finish a book was unexpected because I have a ton of books that are almost ready for publication. But almost and done are two different states of being.

I'll probably tackle the four "Tales of the Thirteen Principalities" novellas next. I have to write the ending the the "The Wyvern Riders," but "The Toad King," "Mirror God," and "Moregone" are finished except--I need to work out the geographical details.

Linda is reading "Castle La Magie" right now. When she's finished, I'll do a rewrite and then it will be ready.

Still not sure I want to start anything new soon. It seems to me to be good idea to finish up all the stuff I've already written.

One step better, two steps further from perfect.

Finished the final rewrite of "Takeover." That doesn't mean I won't do a bit of rewriting here and there over the next month, while Lara is editing it, but I've done a top to bottom edit and I think improved it. If nothing else, I've smoothed away the inconsistencies.

I can't tell if it's any good. Ironically, the very process of trying to improve it makes me doubt it more. After a first draft, when I think I've told my story, I can maintain the illusion that it's great. But once I start editing, then all the flaws come to the surface. The more I try to fix it, the more I see.

But here's the thing. I am actually improving the story even as--the longer I do it--the more doubts I have. I've never talked to another writer who feels this way.

I remember one of the first pros I ever talked to said, "Why would you let your book go before it was perfect?"

And I remember just saying, "Perfect?" like it was a word I never heard before.

So it's perfect after the first draft--in my mind, if not in reality. After I've actually improved it, it's far less than perfect. Does that make sense?

I don't want to lose my enjoyment of writing in pursuit of perfection--which is ridiculous anyway.

I have to remember the rosy glow of that first story-telling, and then hard-headedly improve the writing.

Desert Flowers

Desert flowers, pink carpet,

Paving a path through the Juniper trees.

White flowers, petitely beckoning,

Purple flowers insistent.

The blue skies above, 

Pure white clouds.

Grey-green trees,

And soft green sagebrush.

The soil velvet brown,

Or dusty grey,

And still there is no one,

My seat is mine alone.

Alone where no one comes,

A freedom few feel,

Along with the breeze and the heat,

Even the birds quiet.

A place outside time,

A hundred years past,

A hundred years future.

Unchanging beneath the sun.

And me in the middle,

Unnoticed, a part of the whole,

Alone, not the horde,

Who trample, cut, and burn.

And so, I hope, it will remain,

Day after day,

Just me and the path,

The timeless way.

I've figured out that "Takeover" could be improved by taking one of the characters and expanding on him. As it is, he's a little bit a figure of fun, diminished. In fact, all the original occupiers are less than substantial figures.

If I take this certain character and make him charismatic, someone who everyone follows, it would definitely improve the motivational underpinnings of the plot.

The question is--is the change important enough to risk skewing the plot? It's not possible to simply change a character without making sure it's consistent throughout the book. It's like removing one piece of a puzzle. It can all fall apart.

If I do make this change, do I have time to get it done before I hand it over to Lara? She has her schedule, which I have to fit into.

I'm going to finish the current rewrite, and then decide if I still have time. I've managed to work on 50 pages a day, so I would still have time to go through one more time, and I'm thinking I probably should.

I'm fighting the 100,000 word limit I've set on myself. I may have to stray slightly over that. But only if it improves the book.

I really want to try to deepen the characterizations, the inner dialogue, and bring in a bit more description and telling detail. It might add up to several thousand words.

But all in service to the book. By the end of this, I may have edited this book more than any other. (Not rewrite, per se, because I've completely changed "Faerylander" a bunch of times.) But fiddling with the actual writing, this is probably the most I've done.

It's my most difficult and experimental work--and I feel like it is so close to being good.