Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Every day I go to my book sites and there are half a dozen books that look fantastic. Really attractive books. Interesting covers and synopsis's. Just good stuff.

How can I complain if my books don't get noticed. It's nobody's fault.

Maybe because I own a bookstore and order books, I can't help but see it.

The fact that there are so many good writers out there doesn't mean I shouldn't keep doing my thing. Maybe the next book I write is the ONE. Not only in my own eyes, but in the eyes of others. But I'm done pushing myself on others. I'll announce books from now on, and nothing more.

Likely, nothing will happen.

But almost as likely nothing would happen no matter what I did, and at least this way I save on the mental, emotional, and spiritual wear and tear, and can focus on merely writing.

I have a book that I think is my best book so far, and yesterday on my walk I thought about all the things I COULD do with it. So many options.

But...I had a plan, and it is the path of least resistance, and probably the most honorable, and that last little bit makes all the difference.

I need, every day, to remind myself to take the moral high road. To remind myself that the very thing that has the tiny chance of making me commercially viable is also the most repugnant to me.

I'm no saint. If I thought doing those repugnant things had a good chance of success--well, that would be a real test, wouldn't it? But since I understand that nothing really works, except luck and diligence and talent, I need to focus on those things.

Rationalizations all, but also true. I feel better just trying to do quality work and letting people discover it. That's what I did with the store. Just kept going to work, kept trying, kept doing what I thought was best.

Eventually, it worked out. (Even if it did take over 20 years with with all the mistakes I made.)

For whatever reason, I'm still really keen on writing. I'm still really enjoying. I'm making progress. I see no reason not to keep indulging.

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