Monday, January 18, 2016

How did I not write?

How did I not write for 25 years?

I love doing it so much, it actually gets me kind of high. I'm halfway through Deep Sea Rising, and it is going very well, and I'm loving the premise and the story and the characters.

I'm going to push on through this middle part, which is one of the more dangerous places to stop (I have two or three books halfway finished.)

Anyway, this burst of creative energy which is entering the fourth year is so amazing, especially since I didn't write any fiction for about 25 years.

Originally I stopped to keep my business alive, thinking I would only take a few years off. I remember specifically thinking that if I started up writing again at 40, I'd still be young enough to get the job done.

But I didn't start up again until I was 60.

I had a few false starts. A bunch, actually. One or two chapters, then I'd get busy again. The store was all consuming.

I was a working man.

For years, the store was on the edge. I worked the cliched 60 hours a week for decades. Amazing to look back on it. I'm incredibly grateful that the store finally began to work the way it was supposed to work. (Mostly a matter of getting out of debt.) It was nice that the store was quirky, and I often get comments about how much fun it must be, but frankly, it became a business -- as it must. The fun part was being my own boss.

I did spent an awful lot of time writing in journals, to myself. I literally have a stack a couple feet high. Most of it is repetition, but there are some nuggets of wisdom in there.

And over 8 years ago, I started writing this blog, which was similar to my private business journals, but cleaned up. I allowed my creative side to emerge once in a while.

But I feel much more fulfilled as an artistic man. In the doing of it -- not saying I'm great, not walking around with a halo over my head. I'm talking about how using my creative abilities, which are subconscious in most ways, and effectively producing stories is incredibly satisfying.

How did I not write for 25 years?

Survival. Feh.

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