Sent Faerylander to Beta readers.

I tried giving Faerylander one last read and couldn't do it.

It is just a jumble of words to me now. I mean, the story is in my head, and I see it reflected on the page, but I can't get a sense of the narrative flow.  I just see the words.

Thing is, I know it is improved.

I can take any section that I changed and see exactly where the improvements are.  In each and every part, right down to changing the phrasing or words, it is better.  I can see it.

But as a total?  I'm out of the picture.

This has happened to me before, especially early in my career.  Star Axe and Deviltree became word jumbles, but at the same time, the response from the publishers was better.  So I know that the very process that puts me at a distance makes the book better.

But I'd really hoped to avoid that this time around.  I can pick up Tuskers, for instance, and instantly become involved with the story.  It is very fresh to me.

But this was the fifth full rewrite of Faerylander, along with a bunch of early versions where I moved chapters around.  I've completely lost the connection.

So I'm hoping my Beta readers and editors can point out where and if I went wrong.  I decided not to give them any instructions, just said, "Any and all suggestions and changes are appreciated."

Bren asked me if was still willing to look at the "big picture," in other words, major changes and I shuddered, but then said yes.  Hell, I've gone this far with the book.  I want it to be good.  I'm willing to make changes yet again if they are obvious improvements and can realistically be done.

Phew.

Now I can move on for a couple of months and get some other writing done.