I have to try...

I am emotionally committed to writing this story.

I'm not proceeding very fast; so far, I've managed about 3 four page 'chapters', or about 1500 words each. But I'm satisfied with the results so far.

The main thing is that I'm keeping my headspace in the story. It's still there, just in the back of my mind, and I think the sub-conscious is working on it. I spent two weeks on this last chapter mulling it over, not really getting very far, and then it all came out in about 3 hours.

As long as I can maintain "the fictional dream" I can keep writing.

Back when I was writing full time, I had a wellspring metaphor in my head; the well would fill up and start splashing over, and I'd know it was time to write. I used to leave a starting point for the next session at the end of every writing session; just a word, a line, a glimmer of a scene, was often enough.

When I bought Pegasus Books, too much was going on to maintain the headspace, the fictional dream, the wellspring was neglected.

I think having time off from the store has been the main reason I've been able to commit to another book.

I've had the usual doubts. This time, about originality. The story is about a supernatural detective, which of course has been done -- even going back to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, one of my all time favorite shows. Jim Butcher.

There was even an announcement of this kind of show on network T.V. next season.

Oh, well.

I've always thought you could give the same kernel of story to ten different writers and come up with ten different results.

My thinking about originality has evolved in my time off from writing. I tend to think there isn't really anything completely original, it's what you do with it.

I find myself explaining to customers that I don't read fantasy books much anymore because they aren't original.

But The Game of Thrones and Bujold's fantasies and Name of the Wind are all pretty much standard in their elements -- it's the quality of the writing that makes them stand out.

Not that I think I'm a great writer. I think I struggle to write good fiction.

But I have to try.