The feedback I'm getting on "Takeover" is that the second half of the book is terrific, but the first half is a little draggy. (In fact, two different editors mentioned that it's the strength of the second half that reveals the weakness of the first...which is a backhanded compliment if there ever was one.) So if a person reads the whole book they'll like it, but if they can't get to the second half, they won't. Not good.
I'm really really leery of messing with the structure of the book. I almost always feel like it's two steps forward and three steps back. I could move up a couple of action scenes from later in the book, date them, and then go back to the original structure, but that can be tricky and confusing and dating the entries is sort of clunky.
But the reaction of "meh" to the first half was pretty unanimous, so I need to address that.
I've thought of several additional scenes that I think will spice it up. If I can get away with this, that would be great. I'm not sure, though, that adding more to something that is slow is a solution.
In the course of rewriting I'll see if I can cut small bits, and reinforce some of the motivations. Introduce the danger much sooner in the story. The thing about this book is that each character is in their own head so that stuff can be added and subtracted without inconsistency.
I think it can be done, but I have to be very very careful I don't fuck it up. I need to keep a light touch, I think. Not do anything too drastic.
I do think I probably opened myself up to too much critique. The wider the aperture the more that enters. Mustn't get discouraged.
Most of all remember that my own feelings for the book count the most, even above the selling of the book, strange as that may sound. I like the first half of the book, but I can see spots where it can be improved without taking away from what I like, so I'll do that much and no more.
3 days ago