Use up my chances.

I got confirmation that the agent got the "100 kickass pages" and will read it ASAP.

Makes me nervous. I do hate rejection, and I figure that's most likely, and why do I subject myself?

What really opened the writing floodgates for me a few years ago was the idea that I could just write what I wanted, when I wanted. No one to say no.

So why am I doing this?

Mostly, because I'm horrible at promoting myself, and if you don't promote yourself, nothing happens without a publisher.

Also,  I'm going straight to the top with this -- a big-time agent as well as the "executive editor" of a major publisher, so no rejections by underlings (where I'm betting most rejections take place.)

And they seem well-disposed toward me, at least the editor is, so I'm hoping they'll see the potential.

If this doesn't go, I'll accept the verdict and publish it myself. And try to come up with another "mainstream"  idea.

I figure I probably have about 3 chances with these guys, and I may as well use them up.

I know some writers advise that I keep submitting, but without an agent, most places won't look at it, and I've already tried multiple times to get an agent with Led to the Slaughter and had the doors slammed in my face pretty resoundingly. (I'm still somewhat puzzled by this...)

So I'm not going there. I'm only doing this because the opportunity came out of nowhere. 

I guess, in that sense, nothing gained and nothing lost.