Following up on the "Positive Thinking" post.
I've always thought the Power of Positive Thinkers have it exactly backward.
To me, positive feelings come from positive results which come from positive actions. Thus:
POSITIVE ACTION = POSITIVE RESULTS = POSITIVE THINKING.
To me, the following equation, peddled by Self-Help guru's, is exactly backward:
POSITIVE THINKING = POSITIVE RESULTS = POSITIVE ACTION.
If you want to bear with me, I have a little history here.
Starting in my senior year in high school and continuing into my late twenties, I had a severe bout of clinical depression. (No worries....I've been good now for about 33 years.)
Anyway, for the first couple years I tried to 'willpower' my way out of it. Gut it out. Put on a happy face. I read innumerable "Self-Help" books. Not only didn't they help, I think they exacerbated my condition.
I kept thinking I was going to revert back to my old self, that everything would just go away. I just had to find the right formula: it was magical thinking. But it wasn't until I realized that I was going to have to rebuild my self-esteem from scratch that I started the road to recovery.
Toward the end, my shrink gave me a book called Reality Therapy, which I more or less distilled into the following equation:
POSITIVE ACTION = POSITIVE RESULTS = POSITIVE THINKING.
That may be reductive and simplistic, but as a formula, I submit it's a whole lot more useful than trying to make things happen without doing the work and making the right choices.
It isn't the formula, after all, which creates the change. It's the hard work of the change itself, which tranforms the mood.
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7 comments:
"Anyway, for the first couple years I tried to 'willpower' my way out of it. Gut it out. Put on a happy face. I read innumerable "Self-Help" books. Not only didn't they help, I think they exacerbated my condition."
I know exactly how you feel, having been through several bouts of depression (though none as long as yours). Well-meaning people tell a depressed person to "cheer up" or "snap out of it," which he takes as an implicit reproach -- "What's the matter with you? Why can't you just straighten yourself out?" He internalizes this message and makes himself feel depressed about being depressed.
Speaking more generally, in this society you're made to feel like a freak and a loser if you're not bubbling over with cheerfulness (real of fake) all the time. This adds to the sense of isolation and guilt depressed people feel.
The other day I was in a coffee shop and, after serving my drink, the barista said, "Smile -- it doesn't cost a thing." I felt like telling her: "Where do you get off telling me to smile? What do you know about me and my problems and pains? For all you know I just got the news that my wife or mother had died." But of course I didn't say anything -- just gave a sickly little grin.
BTW on the basis of the quote you posted I bought a copy of Ehrenreich's book and have started reading it. Great stuff.
Dunc, did you ever try anti-depressant drugs? They worked wonders for me. Finding the right one can be a challenge, though.
"...did you ever try anti-depressant drugs?"
Yeah, I had that in my original post, but took it out.
When I finally went for help, medication got me through the worst parts, and through college.
I would say, it was good for me to get on the medication, and even better -- when I was ready -- to get off them.
I think it isn't an accident that I finally started finishing my novels, made the choice to come back to Bend and all that because I was off the numbing drugs.
I've felt fortunate not to have a relapse in all these years; having a wonderful wife, the best minimum wage job, and living in the best of all towns in the best of all states (Bend doesn't Suck), helps.
That said, if I felt real depression back on me, I would seek help and probably medication right away...
Speaking of getting depressed, after reading all the comments that are left on your blog, HBM, all I can say is "wow" ... how/why can you put up with it? You must have a thick skin.
"living in the best of all towns in the best of all states"
Damn, I want some of that Dr. Pangloss's Magic Happy Juice you're swilling.
"if you're not bubbling over with cheerfulness (real of fake) all the time"
Oops -- should have been "real OR fake."
Yeah, HBM, you commie, pinko, capitalist running dog!
You betcha!
"HBM, all I can say is "wow" ... how/why can you put up with it? You must have a thick skin."
Sticks and stones, Jeff, sticks and stones.
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