On my walk for the first time in weeks. Decided to check out the trails at the west end of Crooked River Ranch.
The trail nearest the river was closed for wildlife protection, so I took the upper trail. Immediately could feel I was out of shape, though to be fair, it was mostly uphill. Anyway, the trail wound along the bottom of the cliffs, and never really got close to the river in the two miles I walked. A fisherman I encountered along the way said the trail drops down severely with switchbacks near the end, but I think I'll stop at two miles. Disappointing.
Sitting here writing.
Apparently, on August 1st, the river trail opens, so I'll come back.
I'm going to try to broaden my walking options, as long as the trails aren't more than about 20 minutes away by car. Yes, I could walk in Redmond's Dry Canyon, but I really like solitude as well as more nature than that.
Wrote a second chapter to "New Brave World."
In the middle of the writing, I heard the rustle of a bird above me and looked up to see a hawk perched on a Juniper. Tried to get near enough to take a picture, and frantically took pictures as it took flight, but pretty missed it. Darn.
The book has already veered from where I thought it would go, so that's good. heh.
Tuesday, August 28, 2018
Monday, August 27, 2018
It all worked out.
35 years ago, I was a recently published author of three mass market fantasy paperbacks. My fourth and fifth books had made the rounds going nowhere, but my sixth kept coming so close I could taste it. I was being rejected nicely by the top editors in the field, big names. In other words, I was on the cusp....
Or not.
I was 30 years old and mowing lawns to actually pay the bills. Sometimes I filled in at a comic shop called Pegasus Books. I got married to Linda (with Todd and Toby), and almost immediately after that, I was offered the chance to buy Pegasus Books.
So I naively thought I could buy the store and sit at the counter and keep writing.
I was immediately disabused of that notion. I tried to continue my landscaping job, but nearly had a nervous breakdown--literally, I was at a stoplight and started shaking and couldn't stop. That's never happened before or since, but it was scary.
So I dedicated myself to the store, putting off everything else, working 60 and 70 hours a week, trying to keep it afloat. It became a wild ride, and always writing was in the background beckoning and I kept telling myself, "Plenty of time."
I remember distinctly thinking--"Hey, I'll be 40 in about eight years. That's not too late."
40 went by and 50 and things weren't any easier.
So I finally quit putting pressure on myself to write. I told myself that the world didn't need any more books. (Which is true but irrelevant.)
The things is, I always wondered what would have happened if I'd just continued writing, asking Linda to more or less support us until I got somewhere.
Even then, I saw this as an enormous gamble. Even "making it" wasn't a guarantee of a living. My mentor, who had written over 60 books and worked in Hollywood, lived a modest life and I do believe his wife worked during that whole time. I also began to see other artists of different fields make the choice to do nothing but art--and they were struggling.
What may have made the decision easier 35 years ago was that my writing was struggling. I had horrible work habits, ridiculous expectations, and lots of doubt.
Anyway, I enjoyed being self-employed, and the store finally got to the point where it paid off, and there was lots of creativity involved, and the product I carried was artistic and fun. In fact, I think I learned a lot from reading comics about sheer creativity and fun.
The store made me more social when I needed to be and I grew up quite a bit.
So when at the age of 59, I had employees who were really good at their job and who I could leave the store with (and I was nearing burnout, as well) I stepped away and decided to write one more book, just to see if I could do it.
7 years later, I've written over 30 books and novellas, many of which have been published, and I've made some money (not enough to live on) and I've really enjoyed it.
It seemed to me that I was back to my 32 year old self, writing the books I would have written, but without the constant money pressure and without the bad habits. (And much faster too--I always had the creative energy, but the system back then wouldn't really allow it.)
Meanwhile, a strange thing happened. I began to notice that some writer's my age--who had made the career choice to be writers--seemed somewhat burned out and cynical about the whole thing, whereas I was excited and having fun.
I also noticed that many of them were struggling financially, even though by my 32 year old standards, they had been highly successful. Turns out, only a few writers really make good money at it.
Anyway, it probably all turned out for the best. I still enjoy writing, I'm not dependent on writing for a living, and I've managed to produce a career's worth of work without spending decades to do it.
Good or bad writing, I couldn't tell you. It was the writing I could do-- and probably better than I would have produced 35 years ago.
And meanwhile, I had a very satisfying career in business--mostly because it wasn't dependent on anyone else but my own efforts. If I could pay my bills, I succeeded. Didn't matter what anyone else thought. Thank God for that.
I hope this doesn't come across as smug. It's just interesting to me how it turned out. I'm not sure I would give anyone else the advice to try the same thing.
Or not.
I was 30 years old and mowing lawns to actually pay the bills. Sometimes I filled in at a comic shop called Pegasus Books. I got married to Linda (with Todd and Toby), and almost immediately after that, I was offered the chance to buy Pegasus Books.
So I naively thought I could buy the store and sit at the counter and keep writing.
I was immediately disabused of that notion. I tried to continue my landscaping job, but nearly had a nervous breakdown--literally, I was at a stoplight and started shaking and couldn't stop. That's never happened before or since, but it was scary.
So I dedicated myself to the store, putting off everything else, working 60 and 70 hours a week, trying to keep it afloat. It became a wild ride, and always writing was in the background beckoning and I kept telling myself, "Plenty of time."
I remember distinctly thinking--"Hey, I'll be 40 in about eight years. That's not too late."
40 went by and 50 and things weren't any easier.
So I finally quit putting pressure on myself to write. I told myself that the world didn't need any more books. (Which is true but irrelevant.)
The things is, I always wondered what would have happened if I'd just continued writing, asking Linda to more or less support us until I got somewhere.
Even then, I saw this as an enormous gamble. Even "making it" wasn't a guarantee of a living. My mentor, who had written over 60 books and worked in Hollywood, lived a modest life and I do believe his wife worked during that whole time. I also began to see other artists of different fields make the choice to do nothing but art--and they were struggling.
What may have made the decision easier 35 years ago was that my writing was struggling. I had horrible work habits, ridiculous expectations, and lots of doubt.
Anyway, I enjoyed being self-employed, and the store finally got to the point where it paid off, and there was lots of creativity involved, and the product I carried was artistic and fun. In fact, I think I learned a lot from reading comics about sheer creativity and fun.
The store made me more social when I needed to be and I grew up quite a bit.
So when at the age of 59, I had employees who were really good at their job and who I could leave the store with (and I was nearing burnout, as well) I stepped away and decided to write one more book, just to see if I could do it.
7 years later, I've written over 30 books and novellas, many of which have been published, and I've made some money (not enough to live on) and I've really enjoyed it.
It seemed to me that I was back to my 32 year old self, writing the books I would have written, but without the constant money pressure and without the bad habits. (And much faster too--I always had the creative energy, but the system back then wouldn't really allow it.)
Meanwhile, a strange thing happened. I began to notice that some writer's my age--who had made the career choice to be writers--seemed somewhat burned out and cynical about the whole thing, whereas I was excited and having fun.
I also noticed that many of them were struggling financially, even though by my 32 year old standards, they had been highly successful. Turns out, only a few writers really make good money at it.
Anyway, it probably all turned out for the best. I still enjoy writing, I'm not dependent on writing for a living, and I've managed to produce a career's worth of work without spending decades to do it.
Good or bad writing, I couldn't tell you. It was the writing I could do-- and probably better than I would have produced 35 years ago.
And meanwhile, I had a very satisfying career in business--mostly because it wasn't dependent on anyone else but my own efforts. If I could pay my bills, I succeeded. Didn't matter what anyone else thought. Thank God for that.
I hope this doesn't come across as smug. It's just interesting to me how it turned out. I'm not sure I would give anyone else the advice to try the same thing.
Saturday, August 25, 2018
"New Brave World" as a title. Is that a little pretentious of me?
Not writing has been hard. I think I'm addicted to the fictional dream-state.
I felt completely at loose ends over the last week or so. I kept telling myself I needed to pick a more ambitious project, that I needed to think it through first. And that was very unsettling.
So today, something broke and down went the words, splat on the page. I mean, the inspiration was Brave New World, and I inverted the words and called the story, "New Brave World."
I like what I've written--I always like what I've written at first. I also have no idea where it's heading and I think I'm all right with that.
I may need to talk myself out of the title, though.
"New Brave World."
Is that a little pretentious?
I felt completely at loose ends over the last week or so. I kept telling myself I needed to pick a more ambitious project, that I needed to think it through first. And that was very unsettling.
So today, something broke and down went the words, splat on the page. I mean, the inspiration was Brave New World, and I inverted the words and called the story, "New Brave World."
I like what I've written--I always like what I've written at first. I also have no idea where it's heading and I think I'm all right with that.
I may need to talk myself out of the title, though.
"New Brave World."
Is that a little pretentious?
Monday, August 20, 2018
This is how I tie myself up in knots.
When strange things start happening in a story, how do you have the characters react?
It seems melodramatic to constantly have the protagonist saying, "Oh, My God! How can this be happening!! Am I going crazy???"
There is a fine line between too little and too much and it's very hard to gauge. Of course it's probably better to avoid a plot where it happens at all. I know I've been annoyed at movies and books where the characters lingers too long on the disbelief reactions.
I cut three active scenes from the first 50 pages and kept one that I had a few doubts about. Sure enough, now I'm having doubts about the one I kept, and wondering if I shouldn't have kept the three I cut.
I'm tempted to cut the scene I kept (but it would be useful later) and put two of the scenes back (they are relatively short) and on the third scene--the original first chapter-- just keep it but cut it way down.
So I'm pretty sure I'm going to do a "Fateplay" version four; but I want to wait until I've gotten back all the feedback.
This is how I tie myself up in knots.
I know I must seem incredibly wishy-washy, but this is my process. I try this, I try that, I weigh it after it's done.
The thing is, it isn't until I actually commit to a change that I seem to be able to see it clearly. While it is still only possibility, I can't make a final determination for some reason.
It would be great to have readers who could read each version, but even I'm tired of it and getting people to read you even once can be difficult.
Anyway, now that I "committed" to the extend of actually sending it off, I'm clearly seeing things I'd like the change, and I'm clearly seeing how they would be improvements.
Arrrgggh.
Generally what happens--despite some radical departures at first--is that I end up with some version that is close to the first version but with modifications.
This both satisfies my own need to keep the story I told, and hopefully makes enough changes to make it easier on the reader.
And I'll never know for sure.
It seems melodramatic to constantly have the protagonist saying, "Oh, My God! How can this be happening!! Am I going crazy???"
There is a fine line between too little and too much and it's very hard to gauge. Of course it's probably better to avoid a plot where it happens at all. I know I've been annoyed at movies and books where the characters lingers too long on the disbelief reactions.
I cut three active scenes from the first 50 pages and kept one that I had a few doubts about. Sure enough, now I'm having doubts about the one I kept, and wondering if I shouldn't have kept the three I cut.
I'm tempted to cut the scene I kept (but it would be useful later) and put two of the scenes back (they are relatively short) and on the third scene--the original first chapter-- just keep it but cut it way down.
So I'm pretty sure I'm going to do a "Fateplay" version four; but I want to wait until I've gotten back all the feedback.
This is how I tie myself up in knots.
I know I must seem incredibly wishy-washy, but this is my process. I try this, I try that, I weigh it after it's done.
The thing is, it isn't until I actually commit to a change that I seem to be able to see it clearly. While it is still only possibility, I can't make a final determination for some reason.
It would be great to have readers who could read each version, but even I'm tired of it and getting people to read you even once can be difficult.
Anyway, now that I "committed" to the extend of actually sending it off, I'm clearly seeing things I'd like the change, and I'm clearly seeing how they would be improvements.
Arrrgggh.
Generally what happens--despite some radical departures at first--is that I end up with some version that is close to the first version but with modifications.
This both satisfies my own need to keep the story I told, and hopefully makes enough changes to make it easier on the reader.
And I'll never know for sure.
Sunday, August 19, 2018
Word Jumble
It's clear to me that I could spend a year--or forever, for that matter--constantly revisiting a book, trying to improve it.
Thing is, you can never be completely sure that you are actually improving it. Last night I got it in my head to cut as much of the first 40 pages as I could. In the middle of the process I had messed it up so much that I was afraid I couldn't come back from it. (Worse, I'd somehow lost changes in previous draft.)
I managed to wrestle the story in shape, but it was a near thing. Spent all day with it.
But I'm holding myself to a new standard.
When I first came back to writing, the object was to actually finish the damn books. And then the object was to not mess them up.
Both of these were big problems in my first career--getting bogged down, confusing myself, not finishing, or actually messing up the books. Mostly due to terrible work habits.
So I got the procedure down this time, on the first drafts at least. Now I'm trying the refine the process on the second drafts. It's not as fun, but I think I've figured out ways to make it interesting at least.
Trouble with rewrites is that they open the door to doubts. But doubts are probably necessary to the process, as much as I love the certainty of my first drafts.
So if I'm going to ask people to read my books, I need to make the extra effort.
I was talking to Linda about how many of the rewrite changes are about "technique." And she said, I'd don't think I worry about technique "consciously."
I said, "Consciousness is the essence, almost the definition, of technique."
I was going to give the book one more re-read, but I'm done. I started the last read through, started to change a few words, realized I could no longer tell if I was improving it or making it worse. What I call "Word Jumble.) Since I can no longer see it with any perspective whatsoever, I'd better back away. Send it off, see what others have to say, but leave it alone from now on.
The Catch-22 of re-writing is that it exposes my weaknesses, which make me want to give up. I mean, it just shows I need to get better, but discourages me from trying.
Though I did have an interesting experience. After experiencing the word-jumble effect and giving up last night, I started to read some online articles and they seemed terribly written and all I could see was the weaknesses.
Which probably means it's just a frame of mind and if I come back later, I might have a different experience.
First drafts are so much fun. I'll just leave it at that.
Thing is, you can never be completely sure that you are actually improving it. Last night I got it in my head to cut as much of the first 40 pages as I could. In the middle of the process I had messed it up so much that I was afraid I couldn't come back from it. (Worse, I'd somehow lost changes in previous draft.)
I managed to wrestle the story in shape, but it was a near thing. Spent all day with it.
But I'm holding myself to a new standard.
When I first came back to writing, the object was to actually finish the damn books. And then the object was to not mess them up.
Both of these were big problems in my first career--getting bogged down, confusing myself, not finishing, or actually messing up the books. Mostly due to terrible work habits.
So I got the procedure down this time, on the first drafts at least. Now I'm trying the refine the process on the second drafts. It's not as fun, but I think I've figured out ways to make it interesting at least.
Trouble with rewrites is that they open the door to doubts. But doubts are probably necessary to the process, as much as I love the certainty of my first drafts.
So if I'm going to ask people to read my books, I need to make the extra effort.
I was talking to Linda about how many of the rewrite changes are about "technique." And she said, I'd don't think I worry about technique "consciously."
I said, "Consciousness is the essence, almost the definition, of technique."
I was going to give the book one more re-read, but I'm done. I started the last read through, started to change a few words, realized I could no longer tell if I was improving it or making it worse. What I call "Word Jumble.) Since I can no longer see it with any perspective whatsoever, I'd better back away. Send it off, see what others have to say, but leave it alone from now on.
The Catch-22 of re-writing is that it exposes my weaknesses, which make me want to give up. I mean, it just shows I need to get better, but discourages me from trying.
Though I did have an interesting experience. After experiencing the word-jumble effect and giving up last night, I started to read some online articles and they seemed terribly written and all I could see was the weaknesses.
Which probably means it's just a frame of mind and if I come back later, I might have a different experience.
First drafts are so much fun. I'll just leave it at that.
Saturday, August 18, 2018
Killled my darlings.
"In writing, you must kill your darlings." William Faulkner.
I cut about 15 percent from the first 40 pages of "Fateplay," or about 4500 words, including the original first chapter, the thing that got me excited about the story in the first place. I'd figured out a way to keep it, but then realized it wasn't really necessary.
So as much as I loved writing it, it's been cut. I'm pretty proud of myself.
That takes more balls than I used to have.
I also unclogged a chapter that had way too much explication, taking about half and moving it to a chapter where it made more sense.
I think it reads smoother now, though I've had to excise some of the invention I wanted to impart about this world. I'm hoping that the background will bleed through. Also had to trim some characterization which wasn't as necessary with the new beginning.
Story comes first. I never want to bore the reader.
I'm pretty much done. It's 115K words now instead of 120K words, somewhat slimmed down.
I think any book with any ambition is probably going to be somewhat a mess in the writing of. And again, I wonder if I could save a lot of problems by having even just a crude outline before I start.
Problems I tend to have.
Meandering starts before the story kicks off.
Middle parts of books that just go sideways.
Ending that don't quite hit it.
Usually, by the time I've released a book, I've ameliorated these problems--or the book doesn't get released.
I've noticed that my 30K novellas don't seem to have these problems.
I have three days for one final read through, then off to the beta readers and editor. Hopefully, get it back in a month and give it one more go through. This will be the most time I've ever spent on a story, not counting Faerylander. (Which has been re-written multiple times.)
I'm going to spend the next month giving my two thrillers, "Deadfall Ridge" and "Takeover" re-writes, concentrating again on the beginnings, trying to slim them down. The second half of Takeover, especially, is really good. The first half was an experiment in characterization which was useful but needs to be changed. Killing my darlings again.
I cut about 15 percent from the first 40 pages of "Fateplay," or about 4500 words, including the original first chapter, the thing that got me excited about the story in the first place. I'd figured out a way to keep it, but then realized it wasn't really necessary.
So as much as I loved writing it, it's been cut. I'm pretty proud of myself.
That takes more balls than I used to have.
I also unclogged a chapter that had way too much explication, taking about half and moving it to a chapter where it made more sense.
I think it reads smoother now, though I've had to excise some of the invention I wanted to impart about this world. I'm hoping that the background will bleed through. Also had to trim some characterization which wasn't as necessary with the new beginning.
Story comes first. I never want to bore the reader.
I'm pretty much done. It's 115K words now instead of 120K words, somewhat slimmed down.
I think any book with any ambition is probably going to be somewhat a mess in the writing of. And again, I wonder if I could save a lot of problems by having even just a crude outline before I start.
Problems I tend to have.
Meandering starts before the story kicks off.
Middle parts of books that just go sideways.
Ending that don't quite hit it.
Usually, by the time I've released a book, I've ameliorated these problems--or the book doesn't get released.
I've noticed that my 30K novellas don't seem to have these problems.
I have three days for one final read through, then off to the beta readers and editor. Hopefully, get it back in a month and give it one more go through. This will be the most time I've ever spent on a story, not counting Faerylander. (Which has been re-written multiple times.)
I'm going to spend the next month giving my two thrillers, "Deadfall Ridge" and "Takeover" re-writes, concentrating again on the beginnings, trying to slim them down. The second half of Takeover, especially, is really good. The first half was an experiment in characterization which was useful but needs to be changed. Killing my darlings again.
Thursday, August 16, 2018
I wrote the prologue and it's a much better kickoff to the story. I'll probably just make it the first chapter instead, since there is no reason not to.
I'm still not completely happy with the motivation for the middle part of the book--the fight for the shares of the company. Yeah, let's root for that. Stock shares, yea!
I've already tried to impart that it really isn't about the shares by having Coyote say, "Follow the mysterious plan." Which is better, but still not great.
So I'm going to look for a spot for Coyote to say, "It isn't about the shares, it's about the people. You must save them and they must save you." Which seems vague, but also a much more sympathetic motivation. Thematically, it's correct too. Because Zach changes or learns in the course of the book. I've already established the unlikely fact that the five people he must convince to help him are people he already knows. So this can be played up as fate, as something that was meant to happen.
It might actually work better without going into detail.
Still doesn't necessarily provide the urgency I'd like, so I still need to think some of this. But better than it was at the start. Maybe something specifically he needs to get from them or something they need to get from him.
I mean, it's the Ten Labors of Hercules idea, so as a plot there is precedent.
I'm still not completely happy with the motivation for the middle part of the book--the fight for the shares of the company. Yeah, let's root for that. Stock shares, yea!
I've already tried to impart that it really isn't about the shares by having Coyote say, "Follow the mysterious plan." Which is better, but still not great.
So I'm going to look for a spot for Coyote to say, "It isn't about the shares, it's about the people. You must save them and they must save you." Which seems vague, but also a much more sympathetic motivation. Thematically, it's correct too. Because Zach changes or learns in the course of the book. I've already established the unlikely fact that the five people he must convince to help him are people he already knows. So this can be played up as fate, as something that was meant to happen.
It might actually work better without going into detail.
Still doesn't necessarily provide the urgency I'd like, so I still need to think some of this. But better than it was at the start. Maybe something specifically he needs to get from them or something they need to get from him.
I mean, it's the Ten Labors of Hercules idea, so as a plot there is precedent.
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