2/3rds of the way through Zombielander and I reached an impasse. The same impasse I'd hit before.

How to integrate the last third of the book.

It doesn't seem an insurmountable problem, certainly I'm in a better place than when Faerylander and Zombielander were one book. But the chapter I have in place just doesn't feel right.

I decided to take a day or two before proceeding and try to come up with a solution.

So I think I have, in theory at least. I have a path forward, which is what I needed.

First, the crucial chapter feels like it would work better told from another character's perspective.

Secondly, I need to consolidate the timeframe so that the responses by the characters make sense. Or alternatively, expand the timeframe.

I either need to remove or move another chapter.

This is all work. It is all in my head, which is not the way I prefer to tell my stories. But I have a feeling this is probably how most other writers go about things. Much more thought rather than just instinct.

I prefer stories that come together on their own without any interference from me, so to speak.  But I also assume that the original story is still there, and all I'm doing is crafting a better plot to fit the story into.

At least I hope so. I long ago passed over from "feeling" this story to "puzzling out" this story. I've noticed in the past, the readers don't really see this. If the story works, it works, and it doesn't matter how I arrived there.

It's just more fun for me not to have to constantly rewrite trying to get it right.

Really, this is a matter of "sunk costs" and I'm going to try very hard to avoid this situation in the future.

I've worked so hard and so long on this book(s) that I don't want to give up now. In fact, when I'm done with this rewrite, I'll probably set them aside and come back one more time next year before publishing and give them one more go-around.

Starting today, I have 10 days to get this right.

Then I really, really want to get on to something new.

Took the day off from writing, and it felt a little strange.

I don't want writing to become a job, a chore, an onerous task. It has to be something I want to do, that I feel compelled to do.

But being compelled and it becoming a burden aren't all that far removed.

When I take time off, I can almost feel my creative energies returning. I have an almost concrete image in my mind of a well that is filling back up with water. That moment of eagerness returns when the water overflows,  I think that's when my best writing comes.

Part of my process has been to refine that. For instance, I used to allow myself to write 3 or 4 or 5 or more thousands words in a day. But I've sort of pulled myself back and try to limit myself to between 1500 and 2500. That leaves enough energy for the next day. (However, if I was really really feeling it, I'd still write beyond that.)

At the same time, though, I don't want to get too far away from the habit of writing every day. I don't want to lose that feeling of being antsy if I don't write.

So... it's just a day off. Probably shouldn't make a big deal out of it. But it's rare enough that I feel like commenting on it.

There you go, commenting on nothing happening... Writing about nothing at all, because by God I have to write something.

I'll be spending the rest of this month rewriting Zombielander.

I think I've figured out a way to conclude the Faery versus Cthulhu storyline and at the same time leave it open to a third book later on. Which is a great solution. Leaves me with the ability to publish the four Lander books I have, and still be able to folow it with the fifth book if I want...or not.

Meanwhile, I never know for sure when I'm writing one book which book I'll want to write next, but I'm leaning toward doing my terrorists-setting-wildfires book, "Devil's Forge."

If nothing else, for timeliness sake. It's half written. Most of the plot has been set up. The only parts that still needs to be written are the action chapters, which are usually the easiest to write. The only real question is how much research to do. I've been clipping out articles about wildfires for about a year, and setting aside books.

The other thing I'm not sure about is do I research ahead of time-- thus using the research in the plot of the book? Or do I research after the plot has been laid down --thus using it to add verisimilitude? The latter is easier than the former, the former is probably more useful than the latter, but much harder to motivate myself to do.

I probably shouldn't say it, but I wing my plots. I feel them. I trust my subconscious. It's all about story.

Interestingly, I had drones as a major part of my plot, and since, I've learned that indeed, drones are being used in wildfires. I think I arrived at this on my own, but maybe I heard a mention of it, or maybe it was just logical.

Anyway, I'm either going to finish "Devil's Forge" or finish "Tuskers IV" both of which are already half written.

I have a problem. I've written too many books.

So far, I've been careful. In the five years I've been serious about writing, I've had the 3 Virginia Reed books and the 3 Tuskers books (as of October) released. BOTD released all 3 Vampire Evolution books on the same day, and I've released two other books on my own.

That's pretty freaking prolific right there. But I've got a BUNCH more books.

I'm not going to try to defend this. I know someone might say, "that's not writing, that's typing." But that is pretty dismissive of how diligent I've been. I mean, you guys have no idea how much time and effort I've put into this. I love doing it, don't get me wrong. But I'm not dabbling. (If you want to be prolific, just have no other life...)

I have books I've finished rapidly that are pretty damn good, and books I've worked on for 4 years and which still aren't up to snuff. 

I've been steadily writing for 5 years, hardly ever skipping a day.

By splitting "Faerylander" into 2 books (or 3) I've freed up 4 books (or 5).

Add that to the 5 books that I've finished that are ready to go at any time. (4 out of 5 have been edited and have covers), that's a crazy number of books.

I also have the reissue of my 3 1980's published books (combined into 2) almost ready to go. I have 2 other books I finished in the 80's that are done (plus a new sequel.)

I have a number of books that I've written that need to be rewritten, if I ever have the time.

And in the meantime, I'm not really slowing down.

If I were to release the FINISHED books every 3 months, which would be a pretty rapid pace, it would still take 4 years to get all the current books out. Even if I slowed my pace by half, in four years I'd still have a bunch of NEW books finished.

Meanwhile, I have the books with publishers that I don't want to dilute the impact of--"The Darkness You Fear" just came out and needs 4 or 5 months for its own window. "Tuskers III" is coming out in October. A "Tuskers IV" (the concluding book) is in the works; and I have a 4th Virginia Reed book planned.

What the hell do I do?

It might be different if I was younger, but I'm at an age when a few years might matter.

What to do?

I want each individual book to be taken seriously. I don't want to dump them out there.

This is not a problem I expected to have. It's not a humblebrag, it really is a logistical problem.

It's not about the money. I've forgone so much money by not working my store that no realistic amount of payback from writing will ever cover it.

It's not about fame and fortune. But like I said, I want each book to stand on its own merits and drowning the market is no way to go about that.

Basically, I'm going to just keep writing to the end of the year and take the lay of the land. I figure one of two things will happen--either there will be more action on the publisher front (which, except for Tuskers IV, isn't looking that likely) or I'll be free to do as I will without regard to stepping on the publishers toes.

If there is more action on the publisher front (and other than what's out there right now, I'm not intending to pursue that) then I would seriously considered putting books out as D.M. McKinnon.
(McKinnon being my middle name).

If I'm trying to cooperate with publishers (which as far as sales results are concerned is a much better proposition) I'm thinking I'd have two tiers.

Tier One: The Duncan McGeary books. Paying for top line covers and editing. 2 or 3 books a year, through publishers if possible, by myself if not.

Tier Two: The D.M. McKinnon books. Doing it all myself. Plunking them out every 3 months like clockwork.

I'd rather have all my books as Duncan McGeary, obviously. But I'm thinking it may not be possible without completely ruining the "brand."

But if I just start plunking D.M. McKinnon books out there without any fanfare whatsoever, they will sink into the ocean of books without a trace. (Not that that is all that different from what is already happening...)

Such a weird problem to have.

My approach so far is to release whatever book I think is my best book at the time, and that also shows something different about my range.

So "Led to the Slaughter" was my first book, because I thought it was my best book at the time.

Took a turn not long after into a creature book, which had a different tone and approach, "Tuskers." Which again, was my best book at the time.

Then released "Blood of the Succubus" myself, because again, I thought it was my best book, and had a completely different approach and tone.

I've continued the Virginia Reed books after "Led to the Slaughter," and I've continued the "Tuskers" books.

Since then, I've written a bunch of other books, all of which are somewhat quirky. I like them a lot, but now that it is almost time to put something out again--mid-summer I think--it is pretty clear that the best book I've written lately and that also has a different tone, is "Deep Sea Rising."

I'm going to call this book my first "adult" book. It has no supernatural elements. No fantasy, no S.F. It is a straight thriller, adventure. I tried to adhere to reality, to what could really happen.

I suppose it could be called a "creature" book, but the creatures exist, or the creatures could exist. It could be called a "disaster" book, but what thriller isn't?

So what's the problem?

I described it as an "adult" book, written so that people who forbear anything that smacks of the fantastic could read comfortably. A crossover book, if you will. I wrote it because I like it, and only after I was done did I realize I'd done something different.

Thing is...I have never felt very "adult." I've always been sort of sidelined. I've run a business for 36 years, which is pretty adult I suppose, but look at what it is--a comic book, game, bookstore. Not exactly your usual job.

I look around me and see 'adults' and God bless them, but I've always felt the outsider, a little immature, not really socially conditioned.

Fine, I wouldn't have it any other way.

But...when I write about "adults" in my stories, I can get most of the way there, but I always feel like I come up a little short. A certain amount of the "adult" comes from other sources, not personal experience. That is, the world that I perceive most adults living comes as a mystery to me.

So, like I said, "Deep Sea Rising" has some good ideas and characters and I love the story, but I feel like I can't quite get the the "real" which is the feeling I want to get out.

So when I'm writing "Tuskers," and I'm purposely writing it in the 70's disaster movie mode, it's okay to use archetypes (better word than stereotype.)

For the Virginia Reed books, there is enough distance that I can approximate the "real", especially when the real is part of the story. I think it might actually be difficult to not tap into the tragedy of the Donner Party.

So..."Deep Sea Rising" is the best book to put out next, but I don't quite feel adult enough to pull it off. Maybe this is just the imposter syndrome. Maybe nobody feels adult.

But it does seem to me that there are two options in writing: Either write what you know, or write so far out of what you know that it doesn't matter.

The danger is when you try to write something that you "should" know, but are only guessing at...

I do feel that with a little "adult" supervision, "Deep Sea Rising" could get all the way there. But where do I get that?

A short distance to making this a really good book, a vast distance to get the help to get it there. Such a vast distance that I don't believe it worth going for.

So I'll do my best pretending to be an adult and just put it out.

Moving on to Zombielander.  Going to try to outline the book, for once. I have about 70% of it written, but need to add about 30% to include other characters in the first half of the book. The second half can pretty much proceed as written.

Story usually comes to me through writing, so outlining isn't a natural thing for me. But in this case, it could save a lot of trouble down the road.

Need to work out theme and character motivations a little better.

I'll have at least four Famous Author chapters, starting with JRR Tolkien, but would love to have one more Weird writer that everyone knows but who is pretty much in the past. The first book had Poe, Lovecraft, Howard, and 'Holocaust writer.'

I've written C.S. Lewis and Charles Williams chapters, but not quite satisfied with them. Need to fix those. Jules Verne and H.G. Wells aren't dark or fantasy enough. I'll think of someone. Maybe Kafka?

Undecided whether to do Cobb's Bestiary. For one thing, I'd need to add some Faery critters, and for another, most of the additions would not be as on point as they were in the first book. Then again, I kind of like them.

Later:

All right. Sketched in the book. Really only need to write three or four completely new chapters, but...lots and lots of transitions. It's all about the transitions. Easy to leave one out. So I'm going to go ahead and get started.

Write the new chapters, stick them in, then work on the transitions to make it all flow naturally.

Neato.

Got back the finished covers to Star Axe and Snowcastles/Icetowers and they are beautiful. I need to sit down and finish the adaption from scans to finished manuscript, which will just take work. I'd hoped to do a little each day, but that's not the way I do things.

It will require me just flat out sitting down and doing the job.

Soon.