Strange and tardy ambitions.

When I was a teenager, like all teenagers, I wanted to learn to play the guitar, I wanted to learn a foreign language, I wanted to draw, I wanted to write books, and I had a vague idea of owning a bookstore.

Well, I did the writing and I owned the bookstore.

But here at the ripe old age of 65 I suddenly want to learn German again. I want to play the guitar and sing, if only to myself, and I want to learn to draw, if only crudely.

Just for my own amusement.

Semi-retired is interesting. Suddenly, I'm listening to full albums, albums from my ambitious youth when I thought all things possible. (Right now, listening to Joan Baez in Concert, 1962--when songs like Kumbaya were new and you could sing them without irony...)

I don't feel old at all. I feel like a teenager. I feel like I have time to explore.

When I came back to writing I exploded all over the page. Somewhat to my own surprise. Good lord, what is this?

From the age of 18 to 28 I was struggling just to survive my depression and aftermath. It was bad, I can never forget that. I've been so damn lucky to emerge from that, to thrive even, and the depression has never come back.

It was wonderful to own my own business, but it was hugely stressful and time-consuming. Decades passed in an instant, me going to work everyday, doing the job, just doing the heavy lifting it took to survive the ups and downs.

The store finally became self-sustaining, with the help of a good manager and employees, and so I indulged my passion--my obsession--with writing. Six years later I'm starting to tail off. I'm still writing, but the urgency isn't there.

German? Well, I've been watching German movies and shows on Netflix and there is this constant feeling that I've ALMOST got it. I took a couple of years of German in high school but I remember only a few words and phrases--as least consciously.

Someday I hope that Linda and I can go to Europe and wouldn't it be nice to at least understand a bit of the language? Ein Bisschen?

The drawing. Well, that goes along with my writing. I constantly have ideas that I wish I could cartoon out. Surely, I can learn enough basics to do that?

Guitar? Hell, I'm not talking about much more than learning a few chords and songs in my voice range, which is admittedly limited.

Maybe none of this will happen, but it's interesting that I even have the ambition.

Time is precious and it is taken up by the need to make a living.

Such is life, I guess.